Monday, week TWO

Dragon Mood? -- antsy

Starting my second week of work today. And Thursday is PAY DAY! Hurray!

Here's what's happened since my last posting:

• Finished up my first week of four ten-hour days. Whew!
  
• Friday felt weird. S called in sick for a mental health day. I think we both felt disoriented by my new schedule. I just felt plain old tired.
• Picked up medication office samples from my doc's office. Her providing those for me these past months has been a financial lifesaver. Literally!
  
• I couldn't and didn't sleep in Saturday morning. ArrrghhHH! So darn fatigued!
• S and I shopped until I almost dropped Saturday afternoon for the big, upcoming baby shower. S spent an obscene amount of money. I'll save my soapbox on that subject for offline.
• We hit Buddies again (second Saturday in a row!) for nachos and a mug of beer. S got on a talking jag until I almost fell asleep sitting up.
• Thankfully, she noticed how truly tired I was. We went home, got horizontal, I crashed. I slept for over two-and-a-half hours. You think I was maybe a little tired?
• S and I watched three DVDs this weekend:
  
  • Eight Below which made my heart hurt. Those dogs have such soulful eyes! Reminded me of how much I wanted to and yet hated watching Lassie as a kid. Anxiety, nervousness, sadness! Oh, the angst!
  • Failure to Launch which never got off the ground for me -- what a dumb premise for a movie!
  • And finally, TransAmerica, which I was all set to really like; again, it just didn't work for me. We listened to some of the director's commentary before watching the movie; he said the movie was really about parenting. Then why make said parent a transsexual? Bree's coming to terms with her sexuality completely overshadowed her coming to terms with being a parent, IMHO. Oh well!
• Sunday I slept until 11 o'clock. Yup, ELEVEN! It's the first day that I truly felt rested since starting these crazy hours.
• S finally got to waterproof the deck. All the interruptions over the past several weeks had made her cranky about the slow progress. I was very happy she was finally able to finish it.
• I made banana/oatmeal/blueberry bread. Turned out yummy!
• I deskunked the dog. Damn dog -- she acts like SUCH a dog sometimes! Here's the recipe:
  
  ---
  Vet-approved Deskunking Recipe
  
  1 tsp. dishsoap (preferably a degreasing one like Dawn)
  1/4 - 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  1 qt. hydrogen peroxide
  Mix all together and apply to the dog's fur. Rinse thoroughly.
  ---
  
  After applying the deskunking stuff to her face, ruff and shoulders, I drug her inside into the bathroom and thoroughly bathed her, with two latherings and two rinses. We can still smell eau d' skunk right around her skunk-sniffing nose. I couldn't scrub on that too much, unfortunately.
• Sat out on the deck and visited with our pushing-eighty neighbor, Bill. The old guy, I'm coming to conclude, is overly preoccupied with sex. He keeps bringing it up and S and I comment politely or clam up with no further conversation. (sigh) Geez, you'd think he'd take a clue!
  
• Chased dust bunnies and cleaned the floors in anticipation of a house-full of people again next weekend. Grandma and Sally are coming down for the big baby shower. Yosh is taking the ferry over from Cheeseland just to visit. I'm looking forward to his visit.
• Had a nice long telephone conversation with our friend, Joanne. Joanne has had quite a tumultuous summer selling her mom's house and moving her out of her residence of many, many years. In a family of many, it sounds like much of the work and decision-making fell to one, just Joanne. It sounds like a marathon of exhaustion and stress to me!
• Also had a late-night telephone conversation with Dad and Evelyn while I drove to the pied-a-terre. It's become quite the routine for them and me, a good routine, and something to which I believe we both look forward.
  

That's ALL, folks!

Hump day update

Dragon Mood? -- fatigued

It's Wednesday, early afternoon. I've finished the first half of my first work week at the little design shop. I think I'm gonna like it. And -- we're working four 10-hour days this week, with hopes to make it permanent. Wouldn't that be nice to have a three-day weekend plus half of Monday off? I think SO!

The biggest adjustment so far is just trying to not-so-gently bump my circadian rhythms towards the afternoon and evening. My body is protesting. It wants to wake up at 7:30 a.m. no matter what time I went to bed (2:30 last night). The first night I only got five hours of sleep. I just absolutely could NOT sleep yesterday (Tuesday) during the day. Last night I got more like seven or eight hours. I feel better today than yesterday but still fatigued and a little disoriented. I must remember to drive the twelve-minute drive to work with EXTRA caution.

Right now I'm multitasking. Posting on this blog, frying up some barbecue-flavored turkey burgers for S's dinner and my dinner (sadly apart), thinking about what I'm gonna wear to work and hoping to still grab 30 minutes of shuteye. Do you think I can do it???

Later, alligator.

The BIG Monday!

Dragon Mood? -- throbbing scales too!

Today I start a new job. FINALLY!!!

My left upper back muscles are as tight as a drum ... I'm definitely nervous. I know that once I get there, settle in, and get to work, I'll be fine. It's just the time between now and then.

S and my weekend was quiet and relaxed. We did some errands separately early Saturday afternoon and then met up at Buddies for nachos and a beer. Then we drove home and promptly took a two-and-a-half hour nap. How's that for relaxed?

Yesterday, we got a surprise, impromptu visit from our nephew Luke and his friend, Andrew. S was working on cleaning the deck for a staining update. I fixed a fresh pot of coffee, nuked some turkey bacon for them and rustled up three-egg omelettes for the two guys. S drank a beer while cooling off. We had a wide-ranging conversation (would you expect any less from S?); it ping-ponged from Myers-Briggs personality types, seeking life's purpose and jobs to the gnostic Gospels, mu waves and quantum physics. Whew! I actually had to write two notes to get a word in edgewise. S was on a roll! And to Luke and Andrew's credit, they rolled right along with her!

The guys left around 4 o'clock, I believe, and I vegged and took a nap. S did some more work on the deck, I think.

I also got to talk briefly with Yosh as he prepared to fly to Boston last night. And, Lina and I had a lovely catch-up-with-each-other conversation later in the evening as I drove down "here" to the pied-a-terre for the impending work week. Feels almost funny to say that.

My orientation starts at 3 this afternoon. Wish me well!

two of the seven dwarfs

Dragon Mood? -- ???

I'm sleepy, I'm dopey .... I just downloaded two free fonts from here and didn't know where to put them. Where DO you put downloaded fonts?

What I am ... and am NOT!

Dragon Mood? -- benevolently amused

At least I'm not a Benevolent DICTATOR!

Benevolent Creator

(move your mouse over the blocks of color)

Job details

Dragon Mood? -- catching up with dragonly duties

It's Wednesday morning ... I wanted to post yesterday, but instead, took a mental health day and didn't even log onto the computer.

Plus, I chased and cleaned up dust bunnies yesterday. Our friends, Patrick and Kevin, drove down here to join up with us. We had cocktails on the "loggia" (our aluminum-covered concrete patio out back), dinner at Zumba's in Royal Oak and then we headed for the "main attraction" of the evening, a Tigers' game downtown. Never mind that we didn't get there until the middle of the fifth inning, when the Tigers had scored all their runs for the game and ended up losing 4-2 to the Minnesota Twins. We still had fun!

Now to the job details ...

I will be working for a small design shop within a ten-minute drive of our pied-a-terre. The work is not automotive-related, but tied into the aerospace industry. Also, as my son, Yosh, pointed out, with some of my work there "now, Mom, you may be tied into the 'war effort.'" Yup, very possibly true, son. Which I'm not crazy about, but it doesn't feel so contrary to my values that I'm gonna lay awake nights worrying about it, okay?

Primarily, I will be taking 2D drawings and converting them into 3D models using the CAD software with which I'm so experienced.

Money? It's decent, not great. It's about 15% less than I got at my automotive job, but that's okay. It keeps the wolves away from the door for now.

Bennies? There is health insurance, but honestly I don't have the particulars on that right now. And even if I did, I probably wouldn't post about them here.

The biggest advantage? This job gets me back in "production" modeling, working on actual parts (rather than training parts which aren't supposed to have inherent problems), working under real deadlines and generally pushing me to sharpen and hone my skills again. Those are good things.

The biggest drawback? My work day will be from 3:30 p.m. until midnight. Yup, second shift. Because this is a contract job, the shop has a limited number of software licenses and a looming deadline. To meet the deadline, they have instituted a second shift, of which I will be a member. I start next Monday at 3 p.m. with an orientation meeting.

The other important point about this job to note is that it is a contract position, based on a finite contract with a volatile industry. As the interviewer so gently reminded me, "... there are no guarantees these days." Ahhh, yes. The faltering economy. Especially here in Michigan! So, I am not seeing this as a permanent position, but a temporary one, perhaps lasting until the end of the calendar year ... at which point, I may be looking for another job. Whew! -- ain't life exciting?

One of the curiouser things about me is that I always have these delayed emotional reactions to events. I mean delayed. Just now, 48 hours later, I'm starting to feel some dismay that my "semi-retirement" as neighbor Tom called it is coming to an end. No more languid summer days and evenings. I'm feeling relief that our money worries will be alleviated -- not completely gone -- but certainly alleviated. I'm feeling a bit of anxiety that S and I will be on opposite shifts ("Hi Honey, Goodbye Honey") although we will still be able to sleep together each night. S was hoping to take a vacation soon. She most likely will be vacationing sans me. So the emotional ups-and-downs of getting a job, losing some freedom and regaining some economic viability -- well, I'm experiencing them all. One minute up, the next minute down. (big sigh) Whew!

JOB JOB JOB!!!

Dragon Mood? -- excited, elated and electrified!

Halleleujah ... I've got a job!

Details to follow...

Quick update

Dragon Mood? -- hopeful

It's too early to tell ... but things are looking a bit more hopeful on the job front.

I heard from a recruiter that my resume got past the first gatekeeper on a job at one of the Big Three (you know, the OLD Big Three, not the NEW Big Three which now includes Toyota).

I sent off my resume for a job in the Windy City that -- well, that I think I should be a shoo-in for. But it may join all my other resumes in the galactic black hole of trashed resumes. We'll see.

And then there's Adam. An old colleague called me after networking with another old colleague and I most likely will have an interview for a job right here in Motown next week. The catch? I would be working a second shift, from 3:30 p.m. to midnight. ArrrghhhH!

And now ... I need to get off the computer, gather my shhhtuff and get ready to head home to the pines. S and I are watching Baby Preston, who is now scarily mobile and FAST, for the entire weekend! Will we survive? Breaking news -- or broken news-- on Monday!

Thanks for closing the oven door!

Dragon Mood? -- scratching her dragon head and scales

Wow! Where has the week gone?

Like so many other bloggers I've been reading, S and I are slowly emerging from the state of air-conditioned seige we've been in for the past eight days. Record temperatures and unbearable humidity have kept me in the house like a summer BLIZZARD. I've got cabin fever! It was so hot and humid that two or three nights, at 10 p.m., after sticking my head out the back door, I told Cisco, "Sorry, girl -- we're not going out tonight." On the other hot nights when we did venture out, we weren't even a block from home when she was panting hard and I was dragging along.

The heat and humidity felt downright UN-natural. Like Mother Nature left open a 500-degree oven door AND a steam bath door. The stifling feeling was horrible. How do people in Florida and Louisiana stand it? And it really did feel unnatural for us cool-air folks in Michigan.

I can't tell you how good it felt last night to OPEN THE WINDOWS, let in the fresh, cool air and fall asleep listening to the windchimes moving in the breeze. Thank you, God, for cool air, breezes and restful sleep.

Restful sleep until 3 a.m. anyway. Then I was awakened. The dog heard or sniffed something outdoors, jumped at an open window and I heard this crash of glass. I jumped out of bed and found the drinking glass that I thought had broken still intact. Meanwhile, Cisco is madly pacing back and forth, whining to be let out, so I accompanied her outside, at which point she immediately charged at the sideyard fence. I got this faint whiff of ... skunk ... and immediately whisked the dog BACK inside the house. Broken glass (yet to be found) is bad enough; I didn't want to have to deal with an odoriferous dog too.

Now my brain is on avoid-the-skunk alert. I used the bathroom, drank a short glass of milk, took an herbal Valerian, got back in bed and lay there. And lay there. Wide awake. The brain gerbils were going a 100 mph on the mind-treadmill. STOP that! Go to sleep!

At four a.m., I got up, started laundry, tidyed up some in the kitchen, and sat down in our one remaining living-room plastic Adirondack chair to play a mindless little iPAQ game, hoping that would get me sleepy. It did ... finally at 5:30 a.m. I heard S's alarm go off around six, but I had enough of The Sandman's sleep in my eyes, ignored it and continued to slide off into sweet sleep.

I woke up at nine ... should an unemployed person tell you that? It felt GOOD to get back some of the sleep stolen from me in the middle of the night. Ahhhh, another day!

And .... what about the broken glass? Well, stupid with sleep, I never even thought to worry about the dog STEPPING on glass shards. I found the remnants of a large votive candle that got knocked off of a window sill and fell harmlessly UNDER an end table where the dog couldn't reach. Thank you, God, for protecting Cisco's paws when I couldn't.

Reflections

Dragon Mood? -- philosophical

S and I had a far-ranging, rather spiritual conversation yesterday morning, over breakfast, that I want to try to capture here for posting.

We were talking about our friend, Jeanne. Jeanne and S have always felt this 'connection' that defies rational explanation. They met only about ten years ago. Within a short time after their meeting, S said to me that she felt like she 'knew' Jeanne in ways she couldn't explain. When Jeanne speaks, S feels like she can finish her sentences for her. S has actually said that she believes (hard as it may seem) that she and Jeanne knew one another intimately in another lifetime. (Soul intimacy? Probably a more common expression is "soul mates.") She has spoken about this before, so it was not a surprise for me. She thinks other people probably experience these kinds of feelings or beliefs as well. What is unusual is to meet or know someone who can validate the feelings. That is what Jeanne can do. She validates S's sense of 'connection' in the same way that S validates hers.

From that unexplainable, spiritual 'soul connection,' we talked about how each of us is feeling, about our lives and our relationship with one another.

S said it this way: "I am where I'm supposed to be." Silence.

"Where is that relative to our relationship?"

A jabbing finger pointed at me. "I'm with YOU."

I chuckled. "Yes, you are."

She went on to say that she believes we may have known one another in another life. The 'sense' she has of me is as a young, rather insecure, little girl. She believes she was an adult (rather than a child), who felt protective of me. Beyond that, she doesn't know.

And for me? What does this mean?

I don't have any knowledge or prescience or sense about other or previous lives. I do feel that I'm supposed to be with S. I used to check my feelings about her and I always wanted to be with her. It felt right. But, honestly, our relationship is not an easy one; it requires a lot of hard work and determination to be together. When I consider leaving, moving on, seeking elsewhere, seeking out someone else, there is this very clear (repeat, very clear) sense that that would be a huge mistake. I am meant to be here, in this relationship, with S, easy or not. There are things I am meant to learn from her. She is the mentor, I am the student. I will learn from her, I will benefit by her. Part of my task is to be patient, to be still and listen, to observe, to learn. That is what is very clear in my purpose in this relationship, in this life.

S, too, says having this sense of being where she is supposed to be, creates a sense of comfort. But, beyond that comfort, there is a feeling of peace knowing that she is where is supposed to be.

I suppose, that in the large scheme of things, being where one is supposed to be is a reason to be thankful.

Salivating

Dragon Mood? -- licking and slurping her dragon lips

• I'm thinking about salmon patties (I just had one for lunch, over a bed of fresh organic, baby spinach with olive oil, raspberry 'blush' vinegar, grated parmesan cheese and lots of freshly-ground black pepper).
  
• I'm also thinking about cucumber and yogurt salad with dill and pepper, possibly for supper; doesn't that sound yummy, especially when it's so hot and humid?
  
• I'm also thinking about blueberry buckle, something that came up during a conversation with Jeanne about her birthday, blueberries and a killer, blueberry buckle recipe that her mom used to make.... Which I then immediately zeroed in on while looking at Elise's website, Simply Recipes and her posting about Blueberries!
• Which then led me to scroll down, down, down to a real o-l-d recipe for Blueberry Boy Bait (this lesbian's gonna ignore all the catch-a-boy-through-his-stomach stuff)
  
  

  Blueberry Boy Bait
  2 cups flour
  1-1/2 cups sugar [you can use as little as 1]
  2 teaspoons baking powder
  pinch of salt
  2/3 cup vegetable oil
  1 cup milk
  2 eggs
  2 to 3 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen
  1 cup (or less) sugar [you can use as little as 2 or 3 tablespoons]
  1 teaspoon cinnamon

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a medium bowl mix the first 7 ingredients with an electric mixer for 3 minutes. Pour the mixture into a greased and floured 9x13-inch baking pan. Arrange the blueberries on top, then mix together the sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle evenly over the batter. Bake 50 minutes.
  
  
• Which then led me to finding, again at Simply Recipes, one of Elise's favorite things, Tapioca Pudding, made by her dad.
  
  My memories of tapioca pudding swirl ALL AROUND my Nana, my mother's mother. She used to make tapioca pudding, from scratch, pretty much done as outlined below. As she would lovingly take it out of the refrigerator, where it was cooling in one of her deep, old bowls, to show us the "fruits" of her labor, she would remind us how tapioca pudding requires the cook to stand at the stove, stirring, stirring, stirring -- never leaving, even for ONE MINUTE! It was Nana's way of reminding us of her sacrifice and saying she LOVED us, all in one economical statement.
  
  Tapioca Pudding
  
  "... tapioca pudding is one of those comfort foods that conjures up happy childhood memories. It is actually really easy to make.

  1/2 cup small pearl tapioca (it comes in a box, we use Island Tapioca brand)
  3 cups whole milk (or skim milk with cream added)
  1/4 teaspoon salt
  2 eggs
  1/2 cup of sugar
  1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

  Combine tapioca, milk, and salt in 1 1/2 quart pan on medium high heat. Stir until boiling. Simmer 5 minutes, uncovered at the lowest possible heat, adding sugar gradually. Beat eggs in a separate bowl. Mix in some of the hot tapioca very slowly to equalize the temperature of the two mixtures (to avoid curdling). Return eggs to pan with tapioca. Bring to a boil. Stir 3 minutes more over lowest possible heat. Stir constantly. You may cook a little longer than 3 minutes if needed to get to a nice thick pudding consistency. Cool 15 minutes. Add vanilla. Serve either warm or chilled.

  If you want to make a more light and fluffy, but still rich, tapioca pudding, separate the eggs. Use the egg yolks to stir in first to the pan with the tapioca. Once the pudding has become nice and thick, beat the egg whites in a separate bowl to soft peaks. Remove the pan of tapioca pudding from the stove, fold in the beaten egg whites into the pudding.

  Also, it pays to check the instructions on the box or bag of tapioca pearls that you have. The Island Tapioca I used in this recipe doesn't require that you soak the tapioca pearls before cooking. Another brand that I have used requires that you soak the pearls overnight."

• Don't ask me WHY I'm so preoccupied with FOOD today ... I just AM!
  

Using Google's Notebook

Dragon Mood? -- dragons love to collect glittery, notebook-ish things!

You know, I honestly can't remember how I stumbled upon Google's cool app, Notebook, but I LOVE it! I'm using it FAR-R-R-R-R-R more than I ever anticipated.

Check it out!

[Update] Oh, you wanna know HOW I'm using it? Well, I'm collecting information, hyperlinks and web pages on Adobe Photoshop, XHTML and CSS code, fun and/or inspiring quotations that I want to collect/remember/quote sometime, information on health issues pertinent just to me. That sorta stuff.

Just this morning, I gathered over a dozen web pages of tutorials on a software I'm teaching myself. The web pages had a published "shut-off" date and I knew that I wanted to access them after that time. Now, they're safely stored in my Google notebook!

New word: heuristics

Dragon Mood? -- excited

heuristic As an adjective, heuristic (pronounced hyu-RIS-tik and from the Greek "heuriskein" meaning "to discover") pertains to the process of gaining knowledge or some desired result by intelligent guesswork rather than by following some preestablished formula. (Heuristic can be contrasted with algorithmic.) The term seems to have two usages:

1) Describing an approach to learning by trying without necessarily having an organized hypothesis or way of proving that the results proved or disproved the hypothesis. That is, "seat-of-the-pants" or "trial-by-error" learning.

2) Pertaining to the use of the general knowledge gained by experience, sometimes expressed as "using a rule-of-thumb." (However, heuristic knowledge can be applied to complex as well as simple everyday problems. Human chess players use a heuristic approach.)

As a noun, a heuristic is a specific rule-of-thumb or argument derived from experience. The application of heuristic knowledge to a problem is sometimes known as heuristics.

Late night wanderings

Dragon Mood? -- slurping up colors dragoniciously

Here's a cool site with links back to flickr:


http://krazydad.com/colrpickr/

About us bloggers

Dragon Mood? -- ???

Twelve million of us. Yup, that's what the Pew Internet & American Life Project [PDF format] said.

As reported in the New York Times, the report, released yesterday, goes on to say that "Bloggers are a mostly young, racially diverse group of people who have never been published anywhere else and who most often use cyberspace to talk about their personal lives."

Well, thank you, but I'm not young, nor racially diverse, but like the other 12M, I haven't published elsewhere. YES! I fit RIGHT IN!

The report also said that 8 percent of Internet users, or about 12 million American adults, keep a blog, and that 39 percent of Internet users, or about 57 million American adults, read blogs.

Yup, I do both!

“Certainly, as a research center, we get asked about blogging,’’ Ms. Lenhart said of the reason for the surveys. “It was something igniting the American consciousness. Blogs were perceived as having a big impact on politics, technology and journalism. We wanted to go in and see what bloggers were doing.”

Pew is a nonprofit, nonpartisan research center based in Washington.

So far it appears that most bloggers view blogging as a hobby that they share with a few people, Ms. Lenhart said. “The new voices are being read in relatively limited spheres,’’ she said.

Yup, my, myself and I; we are the regular readers ... and occasionally Lina-girl reads my blog, too.

More numbers:

Among the report’s findings was that while many well-known blogs are political in nature, 37 percent of bloggers use them as personal journals. Among other popular topics were politics and government (11 percent), entertainment (7 percent), sports (6 percent) and general news and current events (5 percent). Only 34 percent of bloggers considered blogging a form of journalism, and most were heavy Internet users.

More than half of bloggers (54 percent) are under 30, the report said, evenly divided between men and women. More than half live in the suburbs, a third live in urban areas and 13 percent in rural areas. Bloggers, the report said, are also less likely to be white than the general Internet population: 60 percent are white, 11 percent are African-American, 19 percent are English-speaking Hispanic and 10 percent identify themselves as members of some other race. By contract, 74 percent of Internet users are white.

Despite a potentially vast audience in cyberspace, the Pew project found that 52 percent of bloggers said they blogged mostly for themselves. When asked for a major reason for blogging, 52 percent said it was to express themselves creatively and 50 percent said it was to document and share personal experiences.

Chris Anderson, the editor in chief of Wired, a magazine about technology and culture, said the Pew report was accurate. “The finding that jumped out at me was the recognition that people are talking about the subjects that matter in their personal lives,” he said.

"Express themselves creatively." Yes, I like that. I like to think that is what I'm attempting to do here at calypsoDragon13!

A four-page application

Dragon Mood? -- oddly exhilarated

Having just sallied forth, out into an impending thunderstorm, that unexpectedly turned into a summer cloudburst ...

I gingerly sat down in their artsy chair for artsy customers, filled out the four-page application (they want to know what are my personal goals? Do I have any?) and savored the feeling of twisting myself into yet another variation of a human pretzel, applying for a job.

I am home now, ahh, the sweet expansive bliss of being out of a linen interview suit and back in my Farmer Jean denim overalls, pondering the meaning of life and design. The following quote somehow seems appropriate:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
--Excerpt from the notebooks of Lazarus Long, from Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love"

BlogHer

Dragon Mood? -- a lover AND a joiner

Feeling only a little bit guilty, I surfed to BlogHer (from dooce, of course)and joined their blogrolls. I don't necessarily 'get' all the functionality at the site, but I'm E-X-C-I-T-E-D about joining!

This past weekend

Dragon Mood? -- memory overload

In the course of this last weekend:

• we had six different people spend the night or nights at our house; fire up the laundromat!
  
• we smoked numerous Cuban cigars smuggled to us by Paul via Amsterdam
• we tried to enumerate the endless list of furniture being saved "someday" for the "Someday Cottage"
• Paul and I sat for a whole two hours and talked and listened and conversed. A relaxed, meandering conversation. Wow! How long has it been since we did THAT?
• we celebrated as Paul learned of the Miraculous Moving Van Company's miracle feat of scheduling five, count 'em, FIVE days worth of labor between now and the end of July to box and pack all of Ruth and Paul's earthly possessions for the trek from southwest Virginia to Chicago.
• we celebrated only one twin's 24th birthday as the other twin was working and neither twin wanted to celebrate with the other
• we order three pizzas (something we haven't done in a long, long time); my body is noticing the likely elevations of glucose and cholesterol.
• we played countless hands of euchre and just one long, noisy game of "Bullshit!"
• we pretended not to ... but couldn't help overhearing Luke speak to his French girlfriend ... in France ... in French! Ca va? C'est bonne!
• we listened to all the stories, drinking-related and non-drinking-related, about the belated wedding reception held for the two Mormon nieces and their nice Mormon husbands by the mostly non-Mormon, definitely-drinking branch of the family.
• we listened and encouraged, chided and chastised, joked and laughed, teased and tickled, taunted and trash-talked .... and ALL the other WONDERFUL things that family members do with other family members when they get to BE TOGETHER!!!
  

What do YOU know about human rights violations?

Dragon Mood? -- back at the blogging mines too

In her semi-annual employment review, my partner, S, told her boss how disturbed she is that their employer has figuratively gotten into bed with China for some oh-so-cozy moneymaking ventures ... and how outraged she is that said employer does business with a country that has a long and disturbing history of human rights violations.

Today, I was surprised and pleased to see that Rayne Today has resumed blogging and has a post about human rights violations right here in the good ol' US of A. In response to her challenge, I'm posting about it with the intent to learn more. I encourage you to do the same.

A veritable human pretzel

Dragon Mood? -- feeling twisted

I've been threatening to do this for awhile. I think the time has come.

This week, I sent out nine resumes responding to job postings. I also sent out a cover letter and resume to a "cold" prospect today.

Here are just some of the job titles of the 50-plus postings that I've responded to in the past three months:

• Design Engineer
• Designer Unigraphics
• CAD designer
• Mechanical Drafter
• Interior Trim Designer
• Light Automotive CAD Designer
• Product Design Engineer
• Unigraphics Design Engineer
• Instructional Designer
• UG Designer
• PowerPoint and Presentation Designer
• Technical Writer
• Instructional Systems Designer
• Senior CAD Designer
• CAE Specialist
• 3D BIM Modeler
• Content Developer
• Automotive Illustrator

Is it any wonder that seeking employment is tough on a person's self-esteem? At the end of every day spent searching, I feel something like a human pretzel, twisting and contorting myself to fit the descriptions and requirements of these many, many jobs.

*big sigh* Ahhh, the realities of being unemployed! Will it end soon? Will it EVER end???

and then there's that preoccupation with death ...

Dragon Mood? -- peaceful

People who love me tell me that I'm preoccupied with death. I think about, I talk about it, I even worry about it ... occasionally. Or when I'll admit it. *heh-heh-heh*

I was perusing this morning's online version of the Detroit Free Press when I visually grabbed this article, written by Susan Ager, a regular columnist for the Freep. Here's most of it:

For Aunt Helen, we needed no concrete burial vault. She asked to move, after her death, to a mausoleum.

We did, however, choose a mid-priced casket and enlist the services of a funeral home, including embalming. With other incidentals (transportation, newspaper death notices, holy cards, a tip to the minister) we managed to work the cost of her no-procession, no-limo, five-hour funeral up over $6,000.

This time, like every time I've helped plan a funeral, I think: I sure don't want this for me.

Even the government Web site of the Federal Trade Commission says funerals "rank among the most expensive purchases many consumers will ever make." Many funerals, it says, run well over $10,000 and people rarely dicker with a funeral director.

Neither did we.

For me, the issue isn't money, although I'd rather give $6,000 to a family lacking health insurance. For me, the question is why pioneering Americans still follow rigid funeral industry traditions. First, we rush death from the house, into the hands of strangers. Then, we buy caskets and vaults to pretend to protect a body from inevitable deterioration.

Like plants and animals, our bodies should disintegrate into the earth, to nourish new life.

A simpler way to mourn
This week, I spoke by phone with a woman who has done it differently. Beth Knox of Maryland founded a nonprofit group called Crossings (www.crossings.net) in 1998, after her 7-year-old daughter was killed by an exploding airbag. She has led workshops around the country on after-death care for your loved ones. (See also www.finalpassages.org.)

Beth told me about the death of her mother two years ago: "We kept her at home in New Jersey for three days afterwards. My sister and I bought dry ice to keep her cool. From a funeral home we bought a basic casket, with a base of plywood and a top of heavy cardboard, that fit together sort of like a butter dish. We decorated that with stickers and Magic Markers.

"Then we set it on her dining room table, and my brothers carried her downstairs and lay her in it, and we put flowers and other treasures in it. We had wrapped her in silk, in beautiful clothing, and then we carried the casket feet first out into my sister's van. We drove to the crematory, which has a very nice chapel. We all said good-bye and I sang her a song. And then we put her in.

"A few days later we came back for her ashes, which we sprinkled on the dunes near her beach house. In all, it was the most intimate experience of my life."

Michigan laws a hindrance
Beth's story impressed me. She said the law is generally on the side of families who want to care for their own dead, then bury or cremate them without funeral home fanfare. Activists like her are working to help families stand up against officials who, she says, "often invoke the law inaccurately."

At the Funeral Consumers Alliance (www.funerals.org), though, which keeps track of legal nuances in every state, Josh Slocum said new Michigan laws "pose significant problems for families." His group is working to overturn them but, in the meantime, offers telephone advice at 800-765-0107.

"Your husband," Beth told me, "should have the right to load your body into his vehicle, drive to a crematory and watch as your body is put into the chamber, then come back two hours later for your ashes." Those I hope he will scatter over my garden.

One more trend Beth told me about: "green burial" preserves. In a handful of states (not ours, yet) natural areas are set aside for the burial of bodies in blankets or simple pine boxes, without embalming. Graves are marked with trees, shrubs or fieldstones.

All this pleases me. If I'm going to be dead, it's good to have options.

Well, as for me, skip the burial and just have me cremated.

As for the dry ice and being laid out on the dining room table, *big sigh*, geez, I dunno. I gotta think about that yet.

Gettin' ready for the Fourth of July

Dragon Mood? -- pumped up!

S and I are preparing to leave the pied-a-terre, take a week off, head back to mid-Michigan, celebrate the Fourth of July and enjoy one another's company.

I'm excited about S having a week off. She certainly sounds ready for some time off. As for me, it feels rather funny, in the absence of a constraining, restrictive work schedule. While some might think that for an unemployed person, every day must feel like a vacation, I can tell them, "It certainly doesn't!" I'm working on looking at job postings, tailoring my resume to this job or that, rewriting cover letters to fit a particular application. You would be amazed at how much time that takes ... as well as energy.

I have also been working on teaching myself Adobe Illustrator and Microsoft FrontPage. I'm doing much better on the first one than I am on the second. Again, it comes down to lack of time. I know, I know ... that sounds crazy when you know I have the whole day, every damn day ... but I run out of time ... and could actually use more. Either I simply get physically tired sitting here on a folding chair, trying to hold good posture ... or I get cotton-headed from mental fatigue ... or it gets too darn warm upstairs in the afternoon heat ... or, well, you get the picture.

Truth be told, I am loving the freedom of this unemployed time. If there just wasn't that money piece missing in this quality-of-life puzzle, you know?? What a headache money is ... and such a necessity ... especially when you are trying to pay the mortgages on two houses, COBRA payments, gas for cars, cell phones, blahbiddy-blah-blah-blah.

Anyway, I digress.

What I'm feeling quite sad about actually is not having access to a computer for a week! WAAAAAHHHHH! I think I'm going to go through withdrawal! -- hell, I know I am! Anyway, I'm talking to myself, comforting myself that it's gonna be okay and the week will be over with before I know it, and it will be good for me to have a break from the computer .... again, blahbiddy-blah-blah-blah.

Whew!

Oh, yeah ... one more thing. I got the surprising and exciting news that my sister, Ruth, and her husband, Paul, and two of their three kids, Jess and Luke, are going to be passing through our neck of the woods this weekend. They will be driving in late, late this evening from their respective points eastward and southward to spend the night with S and me. I'm SO looking forward to visiting with them, having some time to talk and laugh and reconnect. Jess has tales to tell from Italy, Luke has a whole school year of stories from France, and Ruth and Paul can tell us about all their new job/new city adventures!

Oh, it's gonna be fun!

Thinking about ...

Dragon Mood? -- downloading and decompressing for the weekend

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, and one of the greatest truths." -- M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

Things I'm thinking about today:

• I spoke to Jeanne, a good friend of S's and mine. She has just retired from twenty-six (-seven, -eight ?) years of teaching high school history. She's a crackerjack teacher (meaning she wins the prize!) and strikes terror into any smart-ass, play-dumb slacker who ever tried to slide through her class. She's smart, she's funny and she will teach the socks off of you, given even half the opportunity. These past couple of years have been tough for her, enduring the politicized climate of an urban high school environment. She loves the kids and hates the politics of education these days. We hope to meet up with her tonight for a burger and a beer.
  
• The "other" J, Joanne. A little birdie told me that she is in upstate New York with her mom (Hi, Barbara!) cleaning feverishly, talking to real estate agents, exploring senior citizen housing and struggling to do "right" by her mom. What a tough job, Joanne. I am holding you in my thoughts and sending "hang-in-there" energy your way.
  
• Another good friend, Kevin, called me yesterday morning with a lightness and a lilt to his voice that I've rarely heard: he had just finished signing his preliminary papers to retire from his job as an electrician for a large corporation. He may be done as early as July 1st or as late as January 1st, 2007. He's elated and scared! We talked about getting together to drink martoonis and C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E!!. Congratulations, Kevin!
• As I'm sitting here in the pied-a-terre, upstairs at the computer, there are (at least) two cardinals, Mom and Dad, barely red and flashy red, landing on a telephone line outside my window. They are flitting to and fro, singing and chirping up a STORM! Wow, are they pretty!
• It's official: my sister and brother-in-law are leaving Virginia and moving to the Chicago area. Paul has accepted a job working for a higher education-related organization. He and Ruth are cautiously excited. The rest of the family is VERY excited that they're moving back to the Midwest and closer to extended family. Oh, the partying and drinking and the woop-de-doing that will be going on!
  
• And a blast from the past: Thirty-three years ago, I was getting ready to be married today. Yup, June 23rd, 1973. A hot, sunny Saturday in June. I felt like a princess marrying my knight in shining armor. Sadly, the fairy tale did come to an end and it wasn't "happily ever after." And, as I've said many, many times before, the really wonderful "fruits" of that marriage are my beautiful kids, Lina and Josh. They are the best and coolest people and I count myself lucky to have them in my life.

Wow! Rereading this, I'm struck by ALL THE CHANGE in all these people's lives. Retirement, job changes, moving from this place to that. And, I'm also struck by the fact that I AM NOT ALONE. I'm going through change in the same way that all these folks are going through change. That's a comforting thought.

And, as for Mom and Dad Cardinal, they're simply enjoying the beautiful, sunny June day here in Michigan.

Finishing up another week

Dragon Mood? -- lurking about

...amongst the unemployed! *sigh*

... I will confess ... right up front ... I'm feeling a bit low and discouraged today. I don't know why ... I just am.

I sent off three applications for employment this morning: one for a tech writer for a nationally known pizza empire (think black tiles and white dots), an instructional designer position and a CAD designer position here in the metro Motown area.

Honestly, all these jobs I'm applying for are all starting to sound the same to me.

"Highly motivated professional ... blobbedy-blah-blah-blah ...experienced computer analyst...systems for process improvements ...single point of contact ... multiple functional areas ... a high level of competence ... design and development of products ... Yada-yada-yada ... applying standards and principles...opportunities ... blobbedy-blah-blah-blah ... self-starter, highly motivated professional"

Do you see what I mean? Holy sh*t!

My Jackson Pollack imitation

From the Jackson Pollack website ... compliments of dooce.

Training, training and MORE training

Dragon Mood? -- industrious

What I'm working on:

• an online course offered by Hewlett-Packard for Adobe's Illustrator.
• another online course for Microsoft's FrontPage, what I think of as a website / webpages development application.
• continuing to work through W3Schools Online Web Tutorials for XHTML.
  

Labwork Update

Dragon Mood? -- nonplussed

Remember my posting about my slightly high glucose results?

Well, I talked to my dad on Father's Day this past weekend and learned something surprising about Mr. Vitamin Man: he has historically and chronically had high glucose readings. When I told him about my one "bad" number, he replied that his glucose is usually around 115 and has always been high. "It runs in the family," he stated.

Hmmmph!

Juneteenth

Dragon Mood? -- curious

I've heard a number of references to Juneteenth in the last several weeks. I had no idea what it is. Here's a brief description from the Detroit Free Press:

Juneteenth, or June 19, 1865, is considered the date when the last slaves in America were freed. Although the rumors of freedom were widespread prior to this, actual emancipation in Texas did not come until Gen. Gordon Granger rode into Galveston and issued General Order No. 3 on June 19, almost 2 1/2 years after President Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. Several states, including Texas, now recognize Juneteenth as a state holiday.

The Free Press article went on to say that "Although Juneteenth originated in the South, it has migrated around the country and to many churches in Michigan." Evidently, there are several churches in the metro Detroit area holding Juneteenth celebrations this year.

Mandalas, labyrinths and spider webs

Dragon Mood? -- grieving and clutching the mouse

(sigh) It's Friday again and I'm already experiencing computer withdrawal. Not having a computer to blog with on the weekends is much harder for me than I ever would have imagined!

I revisited my del.icio.us account this week. Such a cool thing, del.icio.us. Do people pronounce it "delicious?" Or do they pronounce it "del-iss-ee-oh-us" like I do in my head? I think, perhaps I was Italian or French or some other Romantic language-speaking person in another life. I always want to add syllables to a word.

I found an exceedingly cool site with mandalas. It's here. I am going ga-ga over the gorgeous, "hand-crafted" mandalas there. They look like they're all done in pen-and-ink. I WANT them! (chuckling) So much for my "letting-go," Buddhist leanings!

That site led me to another site about labyrinths. I have the toughest time spelling l-a-b-y-r-i-n-t-h. My fingers type very slowly as I sound out the word. I read a little about the author of the site. Here's something she had in a side column:

There are many people I have come to know and love on this spiritual journey... you all know who you are and I thank each and every one of you for the guidance and shared experiences.

And my deep gratitude
to the Spiritual realm...
guiding me along this most interesting journey.
-- Vicki Kaiser

I like the references to spiritual journey, acknowledging important people in her life/journey and expressing gratitude. Yup, that all works for me.

Here's another little blurb Vicki writes about -- she opens with a reference to spiders as weavers. I have long been fascinated with the idea of webs as a metaphor for the connections we all "weave" as we create -- many times, completely unaware -- the "tapestries" of our lives. It's a rich, deep imagery that holds a lot of meaning for me. Here's part of Vicki's thoughts:

Spiders are weavers... their webs can become quite large and intricate. And so very beautiful, especially when they capture the morning dew...

The human part of us sometimes has difficulty quieting the chatter in our mind long enough to hear what our soul is trying to tell us. Meditation is the art of paying attention, of listening to your heart and learning to be present in the moment. Sometimes without being fully conscious of it, we withdraw from the present and live in the past or the future.

We stay in the past by holding on to learned negative behaviors and patterns that no longer serve us. Perhaps we are angry or unhappy about our current circumstances, not realizing that we can untangle ourselves from this web of our own making. Our soul continually creates circumstances so we can learn life lessons, whatever they may be. Until we learn these lessons, we stay caught in the web with only the circumstances changing... more than likely looming larger as the need to learn the lessons grows. Meditation brings us into the present and teaches us to accept the past and let go of these old behaviors.

Some of us are fearful of the future. The human part of us doubts whether we are capable of making correct decisions on our life path. By releasing this tangled web we learn to be in the “now,” transforming these fears and learning to trust our intuition or soul voice. Faith is born of this trust and our lives become more simplified. Meditation can help us live more fully, more effectively, and more peacefully.

All of which I tend to agree with ... and reinforces the notion that I need to redouble my efforts and commitment to regular meditation.

Get right on that, will you, Mary??

Labwork & the resultant whining

Dragon Mood? -- challenged

In anticipation of seeing my family physician, I went to the lab and had blood drawn last Friday. Well, as you can imagine, I was elated about all the numbers except the last one: damn glucose. ArrghhhHH!

 Description
 Result 
 Normal Range
HDL
54
35-75
Cholesterol
147
125-200
Triglycerides
116
10-190
Chol/HDL Ratio
2.7
Half the average risk factor: 3.3 for women
Average risk factor: 4.4 for women
Two times average risk factor: 7.0 for women
LDL
70
60-130
Insulin (Fasting)
15.6
6.0-29.0
Glucose
105
65-99

I thought about it. I think I am eating healthy and healthi-ER than I ever have. My other numbers substantiate that. The fact that my glucose puts me in the pre-diabetic category means:

1. I need to exercise more.
2. I need to eat the same or less.
   
3. With #1 and #2, I will lose weight.

Once I exercise more and lose weight, I probably will no longer have glucose problems and I will no longer be a pre-diabetic.

Exercise, exercise, exercise!!! Can you hear my whining from THERE???

Second Time Around

Dragon Mood? -- touchy but working on my working attitude

This week, Newsweek has a cover article on "How to Change Careers," targeted at us baby boomers. It's a pretty good article on "Career 2.0" as it's called, though I couldn't help but detect a slight note of "youth-centric" smugness from the author (probably some whipper-snapper under the age of 42?). Then again, peerhaps I'm just feeling overly old, overly over-the-hill and overly sensitive???

The really good part of this timely article FOR ME was a slight perceptual shift in my thinking. Yes, I was laid off from my job. Yes, I didn't like or care for my employer nor how they treated their employees. But, nevertheless, I persisted in seeing myself as something of a victim, treated badly by this former employer. BAH, Humbug!

Reading the article, a lightbulb went ON for me that I am in the midst of a transition, launching a new era, exploring this uncharted sea of worklife a SECOND TIME AROUND! I may not have chosen the time for this transition to begin, but truth be told, I am damn happy to be 'outta there' and moving on in my life. I am in the midst of my very own Career 2.0!

Like I said, it's a slight shift, but a significant shift nevertheless for me. And it's a GOOD shift, wouldn't you agree? It's always better to see oneself as making choices rather than just reacting, yes? A strong, persistent advocate for one's own progress and advancement rather than a victim, a poor schmuck waiting to be beat down by the vagaries of life? Yes, absolutely YES!

So ... where to go from here?

Well, I have redoubled my efforts in applying for jobs. If there's a job out there meant for me, I will certainly do my part by applying for it. But beyond that, I am starting to think about other possibilities: going back to school, volunteering to get my foot "in the door," considering several part-time jobs and the flexibilities that may offer. There are endless possibilities.

I'm feeling excited and energized.

Not exactly GOOD news

Dragon Mood? -- heavy sigh of resign-ed-ness?

While scanning the Detroit News online this morning, I found this article. Not exactly what I would call 'good' news! Here's an excerpt:

Few local firms plan new hires

... finds 10 percent of southeast Michigan companies expect to add to their payrolls in the coming months, while 5 percent say they plan to cut jobs.

That compares with 11 percent of firms saying they would be hiring at this time last year, while 12 percent said they'd cut jobs.

...Overall, the region still lags the country in new job creation.

...Michigan's unemployment rate jumped to 7.2 percent in April, widening the stubborn gap between the state and the national unemployment rate of 4.7 percent. That chasm of job creation was on view last month in Southfield when 2,000 prospective employees showed up for 400 openings at a Comcast job fair.

Approaching Midsummer's Eve

Dragon Mood? -- sleepy

I woke up before 5 this morning -- the dog and I both had nature calls. It was still quiet outside -- and rather cool for mid-June -- but there was already light in the sky. Surprise! Sunrise probably wasn't until around 5:30 or 5:45, but the sun's rays had already chased the dark-blue of night away.

And then ... the birds began to sing. Ahh, sweet sounds of birds!

Summer is such a delight! Why can't it be like this more of the year??

Today is June 7th!

Dragon Mood? -- a little peevish this morning

Today is June 7th. It's a Wendishday!

Here are some things I'm thinking about, remembering, looking forward to:

• Today is/was my mom's birthday. She would have been 77 today. Hard to believe! In my mind, she will always be 63. Actually, I remember her best in her fifties -- where I am now!
• Today is a big day for my brother-in-law and sister. Paul is interviewing for a job in the Chicago area. Ruth is waiting at home in Virginia, trying to act like things are "normal" -- sort of? I hope Paul's interview goes well for him. I'm trusting that things will work out as they are supposed to work out.
• I'm meeting with my long-time friend, Carol, this evening. She is visiting from the Twin Cities. It's an unexpected get-together; I'm looking forward to meeting with her and catching up on news in her life.
• Last and least important, we all survived the "Devil's Day" or June 6, 2006 ... 6-6-06. The news was full of "light-hearted" accounts of peoples' thoughts on the day. Personally, I think those articles were an insult to the true and real presence of evil in this world. Let's not make light of it, shall we, folks?
  

Friday noon-ish

Dragon Mood? -- gearing up, adrenaline pumping

So ... now with our computer "down" here at the pied-a-terre, Friday noontime is becoming like my Saturday mornings used to be ... a time to relax and post my thoughts. Except today, I don't really have time to relax as I need to work out on the treadmill, gather my things together, maybe catch a quick bite to eat and hit the road before traffic becomes hellacious here in the Motor City.

Weekends at the country home in the pines feel a bit funny these days without access to a computer. I didn't realize how much I associated 'relaxing' with time spent on the computer, surfing, blogging, downloading photos, uploading photos to Flickr, et cetera. I do miss it. I do have more time, however, to play the piano, sit outside on the deck, listen to the fountain, read books or -ugh- clean house.

Tomorrow afternoon, S and I are going to the wedding of Kathy and Jesse. Kathy is the daughter of our good friends and neighbors, Jan & Tom. They were kind and gracious enough to invite us to this significant event in their lives. We're looking forward to meeting some of their crazy, wonderful family including Tom's five (macho) brothers and Jan's crazy Ffffrench family, the LaBelles! I'm looking forward to it!

I'll be back later Monday. Monday morning is TEETH-cleaning time! Wish me well -- "look, Mom, no cavities!"

Our wonderful adventure in WISconsin II

Dragon Mood? -- more dragon downloading or catching up, as it were

...so here's the "more"...

After leaving the Farmer's Market, we headed to the famous Madison Brat Fest to eat brats and drink beer.

Let's be clear about this: the Brat Fest was ALLLL about how many brats Aaron could/should/would consume. The night before at the bier garten, Aaron, Yosh and the penultimate pot-stirrer, S, had pondered, argued and laughed over numerous wager schemas. I listened and when asked, always responded, "I don't want Aaron to get sick!"

I wish I had $10 for every wager I heard considered. I could take a whole 'nother ferry ride. Anyway, at the last moment, S removed herself from the negotiations (thank you!) and Josh and Aaron agreed on an 8/2 wager. If Aaron ate less than 8 brats, Aaron owed Josh $50. If he ate at least 8, it was a "push" where no money exchanged hands. If he ate 8+2 for 10 brats, then Yosh owed Aaron $50.

We all watched curiously, carefully as Aaron ate the first four brats in the first 10 minutes. Oh yeah, that was the other part of the bet; it all had to happen within the course of two hours.

Suffice to say, that Aaron ate just (he would roll his eyes at the word, "just") 8 brats, although he said the last one was pretty hard to get down. The brats had ceased to have any taste for him and he said the texture was rather repulsive. Yosh bought him bottles of water and I rubbed his back lightly, which according to massage therapist Lina, stimulated his parasympathetic nervous system and may have helped his poor, unsuspecting GI tract deal with the five pounds of brats it suddenly received(!)

We lay on the grass, listened to so-so local bands, watched people, talked and snoozed. There was a nice breeze and it was fun to be outdoors, even though it was getting more and more humid.

We hit the infamous Woodman's on the way home to stock up on --what else?-- beer and popsicles (don't forget the popsicles!). It rained and got even steamier. I took a nap, S took a nap, and the young'uns watched a movie, I believe.

A fitting finish to such a fine day was our giving the old German card game, Sheep's Head or Schafskopf a try. Here's the website (Milwaukee Sheepshead) we used as our reference. It's an unusual game but we kept at it and finally started getting the hang of it. I had fun and I think everyone (except perhaps S) did too -- we played until after 2 a.m.!

Sunday was slow and hot and languorous as all family gathering Sundays should be! We made numerous pots of crack cocaine Alterra coffee, drank even more glasses of iced coffee and got ready for the Indy 500. Aaron and Lina did a high technology installation of Yosh's old-but-new TV, which involved allowing the flux capacitor to warm up (according to Aaron!). Lina made a whiz-bang frittata filled with tomatoes, green onions, black olives, ramps, green pepper and more lovely vegetables that I can't remember. I fried a whole pound of lovely saturated-fat bacon and another half-pound of heart-healthy turkey bacon. We ate like proverbial kings and queens ... and every bit of it got eaten!

And then, we all sat in Lina's cozy living room, in our jammies and tank tops and shorts, unshowered and unshaved, drank more beer and watched the Indy 500. I'm proud to say it was the first time I ever watched that race from start to finish. And, given the excellent company, I enjoyed it all!

At the end of the race, which Sam Hornish won in a squeaker over newbie Marco Andretti (see -- I really DID watch the game!), we all dispersed and headed our separate ways. Bye kids, I love you!

Our wonderful adventure in WISconsin

Dragon Mood? -- catching up

It's been eight days since I last posted -- yikes!@@#!@#

S and I traveled to Milwaukee last Thursday via the Lake Express ferry. It's the first time I ever took this high-speed ferry across Lake Michigan and I highly recommend it. The ferry is nicely appointed, the ride was smooth, and most of all, it felt like an overdue adventure S and I needed to jazz up our boring, over-employed and unemployed existence.

We arrived after midnight in Milwaukee and promptly crashed at Yosh's apartment. He worked Friday morning while we caught up on our beauty sleep and moseyed through the morning. S and I walked the few blocks to Alterra, where we enjoyed their fragrant yet powerful coffee. S bought four bags of this infamous Milwaukee "crack cocaine" and a sweatshirt to boot.

Yosh picked us up once again, we grabbed up our things at his place and headed to a nearby Mexican restaurant called Cempazuchi. We sat outside in the sun and enjoyed margaritas, Mexican beers and appetizers. I would love to go back and have dinner there sometime.

We hit the road and headed west to Madison. It was lovely to ride as a passenger and have time to catch up with Yosh. S snoozed in the backseat until a quasi-political/economic conversation caught her ear; then, she couldn't be silenced! Oh well ... so much for the nice conversation with my son -- sigh!

We barged into Lina's place, all cool and tidy with her white-tornado efforts. She has such a knack -- or better yet, a gift -- for creating a welcoming environment. I love her for that! Aaron arrived from Chicago about a half an hour after us. We gathered our sunglasses and cameras and cell phones and bottles of water and hiked over to Capital Brewery for some traditional "bier garten" drinking. Lina had prepared a veritable smorgasbord (to mix our northern European eating/drinking vocabulary) of snacking foods, which we dove into with relish (enthusiasm, not pickles!).

S and I, being the old codgers that we are, cashed it in around 11, went back to Lina's and crashed. It was more hot and humid than one could imagine, so we stripped down as much as we dared, pulled back Lina's lovely chintz drapes and set the box fan in the window. Ahh, lovely late night cool air! I slept so hard I never heard the "kids" come in. About 1:30 though, up for a beer pee, I found all three of them crashed in various poses around the living room, lights on, Comedy Central blaring and half-eaten pizza looking abandoned and forlorn. Curiously, it's a sweet memory, these three young adults, asleep, looking so vulnerable and worn out, as only hard-playing children can.

Saturday morning was rather relaxed. Usually, we're up-and-at-'em right away, but I think the heat and the previous night's beer took its toll. We eventually pulled ourselves together and headed downtown to the Farmer's Market. I love the "ritual" of circling the capital, moving slowly with the crowds, peering over people's shoulders at the inviting produce and baked goods, sampling this, noshing on that. With five of us, we moved slowly, three steps forward, two steps back. We bought yummy cranberry-oatmeal bars and hot cheese bread and ate and exclaimed and tried to exercise discipline and failed and ... altogether, it was a lovely, family time. I can close my eyes and be there, smell the smells, feel the love and enjoy it all over again!

But wait!...there's more!

Elders

Dragon Mood? -- aspiring to agile aging!

Our good friends, J & J, invited us over for Saturday evening dinner. Jeanne's dad, Dobie, was visiting. Dobie, believe it or not, is 101 years old. He's in remarkably good health, enjoys visiting with company and sometimes even likes to have a glass of beer with his meal.

Dobie and I visited for awhile after supper. I told him about my being unemployed. That was the cue he needed to begin reminiscing about people losing their jobs back in the 30's after the "crash" of 1929. Dobie would have been in his mid-to-late 20s at that time, by my reckoning.

From there, our conversation segued to banking, Dobie's day job for over 40 years. I asked him about credit unions, but Jeanne, who was cleaning up in the kitchen, stage-whispered, "He's a Republican; he doesn't believe in credit unions," or something to that effect. And sure enough, Dobie didn't really have much to say about credit unions. I didn't realize that I banked at such socialist organizations(!)

I noticed how difficult it is to have a conversation with Dobie. He's quite hard of hearing, making the normal rhythm of conversation difficult. I found myself having to repeat things frequently. Plus, with Dobie's hearing loss, he's also become quite soft-spoken, so that many times I had a hard time hearing him! All in all, hearing loss is extremely isolating, as if old age weren't isolating enough. And, just in the past several years, Dobie has developed quite a stooped-over appearance, with his head perpetually tucked down. Joanne attributed his spine "freezing" in this position due to his frequent sleeping while sitting in a chair.

Reflecting later on our time with Dobie, I realized that S and I have several quite "elder" people in our lives right now. We have Dobie at 101 years of age. We also have Grandma, aka Alice, Steph's 90-year-old grandma, who we see fairly regularly throughout the year. Grandma's hearing is fine, but we notice that she is becoming more and more dependent on others for care. She needs occasional help with shoes or reminders on medications. This last visit, Sally was giving her eyedrops several times a day because Grandma has recently had cataract surgery. She really needs help putting on some support hose to prevent clots(?); S literally had to don rubber gloves in order to have enough "traction" to get the damn hose pulled up on Grandma's calves.

The other elder person in our lives is our neighbor, Bill. S has lived in this house for 13 years, but Bill is someone she has only gotten to know in the past year. Bill is right around 80. He is a Korean War vet, like my dad. Bill has emphysema and can't walk much without beginning to wheeze. What he still does like a champ, though, is mow grass. After learning last spring that S was scheduled to have a hysterectomy, Bill offered to mow our almost-one-acre yard with his riding mower. S gratefully accepted. He not only mows the grass but catches all the clippings and has even put down fertilizer and weedkiller. S refers lovingly to him as our 80-year-old lawn boy. Bill and S enjoy drinking a beer together, talking about trees and plants and other neighbors. Sometimes I join their visiting. Many times, I leave them alone to enjoy each other's company.

But I do think it's somewhat unusual to have at least three people, 80 and older who we see and interact with on a regular basis. I wonder if other aging boomers are experiencing the same?

And it gives me a window-peek into the future, when I become one of the elderly old, past the "young" 60-year age, through the "middle" 70s and into the four-score-plus group. Imagine that!

New cell phone

Dragon Mood? -- grouchy

PROS: Love the red metallic color! SO dragon-like! And I really like the screen on the inside; lots more lines of text.

CONS: It has very limited number of ringtones. Waaaaahh! I want my old Westminster chimes and my Rolling Stones "Start Me Up" ringtones BAAAAACK!

DaVinci opens today!

Dragon Mood? -- mirthful at the thought of a flying meringue pie!

Here's a wonderful quote from Salon:

"The Da Vinci Code," a blend of pseudo-facty information and mischievous, provocative invention, is a flying meringue pie headed straight for the church's kisser.

(laughing) Love it!

Spokes together in a wheel

Dragon Mood? -- this dragon enjoys musing on mystical readings

I found this at Flickr of all places and immediately loved the translation:

Tao Te Ching: Chapter 11
translated by Stephen Mitchell

We join spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.

We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.

We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.

We work with being,
but non-being is what we use.
~~~~~

A pretty cool thing to think about over the weekend, eh?

appreciating how Noah may have felt

Dragon Mood? -- drying her scales, wanting to dance in the sun!

Oh, my GOD! The SUN has finally come out!

After six -- yes, I said SIX -- days of almost constant rain, the sun is out and shining.

Thank you, God, for all the wonderful, nourishing rain you provided.

And now, God ... thanks for reminding us that the sun is still there in the sky where you put it.

Grace, Will and you???

Dragon Mood? -- I like some gay people too!

From Deb Price's column at the Detroit News:

University of Arizona researchers found that simply liking a gay-friendly TV character can make heterosexuals unacquainted with real gay people feel friendlier. Or, as communication professor Jake Harwood summarizes, "I like Grace. Grace likes Will. Therefore, I like gay people."

so-o-oooo sleeepy!

Dragon Mood? -- recalling memories, holding the sleepiness at bay

Yes, in fact, I'm so sleepy I added an extra 'e' to sleep and I'm not correcting it! Hmmph!

It's Monday, it's rainy, it's a bit on the coldish side ... and I'm in post-Mother's Day sleepy mode. Whew!

What a busy Mother's Day S had! -- and I watched. But don't get me wrong; that was fine with me! We negotiated earlier in the week that she would do all the party & food preparation for yesterday. As a mother, I'm at a point in my motherhood where I was ready to kick back and have people wait on me for a day, instead of the other way around. S was pretty determined to wait on the kids. Have at it, honey!

Actually, I must say (and I did say to her), "S, you did an excellent job!" The party was jumpin' and the food was good. Everybody showed up around 1 yesterday afternoon. S had made a big pot of chili the night before. She also prepared sweet 'n sour cukes-and-onions, jalapeno cornbread and a big batch of brownies. Of course, Tim dug into the brownies first. That was the first break in the chow-food dam. Then, everybody had to have a brownie, followed by chili, of course. Of course!

The house was literally filled with people -- every room had two, three, four or more. Preston, at a now totally mobile 14 months, was everywhere. S and I kept saying, "Sorry, the house isn't baby-proofed," as we moved this piece of pottery or snatched up those stray thumbtacks sitting on the coffee table(!) Thankfully, baby Preston was way-outnumbered by adults who can still reach places he can't reach! We kept one step ahead of him (barely) and kept him safe!

Of course, after the food gorging, there was a brief period of time while everyone lurched around, trying not to fall asleep as their blood sugar dropped. Then, suddenly, the dining room table was magically cleared and the call went out for "Euchre!" Six people showed up for a four-person game, while several others played the piano, played with the baby or played with their thumbs!

S's younger, somewhat estranged sister, Andrea, called unexpectedly from California, certainly a highlight of the day for S and her mom, Sally. They each got to talk with her for some healthy, "reconnecting" time.

And certainly a highlight for me was my unexpected nap with the baby. He and I got sleepy about the same time so I offered to lay down with him. He fought his sleepiness for a while, but warm milk in his tummy and a heavy head prevailed and he eventually conked out, his head on my arm. I listened to the sound and the feel of his breath on my face. Completely and utterly sweet! I couldn't think of a more timely gift than getting to nap with baby Preston on Mother's Day. It reminded me of all the times I watched my own children sleep their sweet sleep and rue that I didn't take even more time to watch them. Sleeping babies: peaceful, reposed, with such beautiful cheeks, delicate eyelashes and pouty pink- red lips. They are definitely one of God's most precious gifts to us unseeing, presumptuous humans.

I did get to talk with each of my now-grown babies, Lina in the morning with a clearly-intuited call while I was at Soldans and Josh while I drove to the pied-a-terre late last night. Talking with each of them definitely made my day complete. I felt special!

Colossal historical DISGRACE

Dragon Mood? -- despair and disbelief as she witnesses this cataclysmic disgracefulness!

I never would have found this article if it weren't for checking in at Blurbomat, husband and sidekick to dooce. Check it out. Here's an excerpt:

George W. Bush's presidency appears headed for colossal historical disgrace. Barring a cataclysmic event on the order of the terrorist attacks of September 11th, after which the public might rally around the White House once again, there seems to be little the administration can do to avoid being ranked on the lowest tier of U.S. presidents. And that may be the best-case scenario. Many historians are now wondering whether Bush, in fact, will be remembered as the very worst president in all of American history.

From time to time, after hours, I kick back with my colleagues at Princeton to argue idly about which president really was the worst of them all. ... Was the lousiest James Buchanan, who, confronted with Southern secession in 1860, dithered to a degree that, as his most recent biographer has said, probably amounted to disloyalty -- and who handed to his successor, Abraham Lincoln, a nation already torn asunder? Was it Lincoln's successor, Andrew Johnson, who actively sided with former Confederates and undermined Reconstruction? What about the amiably incompetent Warren G. Harding, whose administration was fabulously corrupt? Or, though he has his defenders, Herbert Hoover, who tried some reforms but remained imprisoned in his own outmoded individualist ethic and collapsed under the weight of the stock-market crash of 1929 and the Depression's onset? The younger historians always put in a word for Richard M. Nixon, the only American president forced to resign from office.

Now, though, George W. Bush is in serious contention for the title of worst ever. In early 2004, an informal survey of 415 historians conducted by the nonpartisan History News Network found that eighty-one percent considered the Bush administration a "failure."

And ... I bet they haven't even asked Bill Maher or better yet, Steven Colbert!

First bicycle ride of spring

Dragon Mood? -- a glorious feeling

Last Saturday, I pumped up the air in my bicycle tires and I went for my first ride of this year.

Wheeee-ee-eeeeee!

I LOVE riding my bicycle. I love the feeling of freedom, the wind blowing through my hair, the speed of flying through neighborhood streets after all the winter trudging through snowy streets. What a feeling!

I tied Cisco up so she wouldn't follow me on my maiden trip. Ohh, the whimpers, the cries, as my trusty bicycle and I flew out of the driveway! I felt only a little bit of guilt at leaving her behind. Finally, I returned to our house, untied the poor dog and then we took another turn around the "big" block of the subdivision. Oh, she was happy ... but not as happy as I was on my first bicycle ride of the spring!

Who says a fifty-something with achey joints and south-bound body parts can't feel like an eight year-old again?

Izzo to Kuwait

Dragon Mood? -- love our Coach Izzo!

From the Associated Press:

Michigan State coach Tom Izzo will make a return trip to Kuwait this month.

Izzo is one of several coaches headed back to the region for Operation Hardwood II from May 23-29, Michigan State's athletic department announced Thursday. Others going for a second time are Alabama's Mark Gottfried, South Carolina's Dave Odom, Charlotte's Bobby Lutz, Indiana's Kelvin Sampson and ESPN basketball analyst Jay Bilas.

They will be joined by Texas' Rick Barnes, Army's Jim Crews, Navy's Billy Lange, Kentucky's Tubby Smith, Maryland's Gary Williams and former Air Force coach Reggie Minton.

"Last year's trip to Kuwait was such an unbelievable experience that I'm very excited to have the opportunity to return," Izzo said in a statement.

The Spartans coach has described the first Kuwait trip to visit and coach U.S. troops in a tournament as a "life-changing experience."

Hurray for Coach Izzo!

Scary numbers regarding heart disease

Dragon Mood? -- dragon heart thumping a little faster now!

In an article from WebMD, a study done in Sweden evidently demonstrates that the risk of coronary heart disease passed from mothers is greater than the risk from fathers. Here's an excerpt:

Sons had a 41% greater risk of developing heart disease if their dads had heart disease and a 55% greater risk if their moms did, the study shows. Daughters had a 17% increased risk of developing heart disease if their dads had a history of heart disease and a 43% increased risk if their moms did.

Children with two parents with heart disease had an 82% increased risk of developing it themselves, the study shows. What's more, children whose parents developed heart disease at an early age (before they turned 55) had a 300% greater risk of developing the disease.

For my sister, Ruth, and I, those numbers quantify what we've been hearing from our respective family physicians. Ruth is being treated for hypertension; I'm being treated for high cholesterol and hyperlipidemia, which is too much "fat" in the blood.

Our mother had her first heart attack at the age of 52. (Ruth is 51 while I'm 53.) Mom died at the age of 63 from her second myocardial infarction. Her father, our Grandpa Rebsch, died at the age of 49 also from a heart attack. I never knew him.

Sometimes, in my more despairing moods (call me an Eeyore!), I have the sensation of tiptoeing through an age-related minefield of heart attacks and strokes waiting to go off. It's a scary sensation to say the least!

Thankfully -- this is focusing on the cup as HALF FULL -- Ruth and I are very close and provide lots of moral support and fervent health cheerleading for one another! We speak often of growing old together as sisters, sitting on a porch somewhere, overlooking a lake.

Friday morning update II

Dragon Mood? -- ???

You know, I really hate it when I write gloom-and-doom posts. Disregard that darn post down there.

Life is good! I've got money in the bank to pay my bills, I have a partner who loves me and my painting skills, it's spring for crying out loud and the cup is way past HALF FULL!

Yup, that's my mantra for today: "Life IS good!"

... muttering to herself, "Life IS good, life IS good."

Friday morning update

Dragon Mood? -- tense dragon muscles

Usually Fridays evoke the upcoming weekend and gleeful, happy feelings.

For some reason, today I'm not feeling gleeful, not even happy. I suspect it has something to do with the lack of activity on the job-front. I've been a real slacker this week, concentrating instead on painting the dining room.

Methinks I must quit the painting scene and get back to full-time job hunting. Yup, I think that's what I need to do! That and my XHTML tutorials!

But first .... er, I have to run to Home Depot and buy another quart of Pale Sunshine. I have less than a cup of paint from the original gallon and I can't finish the job with that. ArrrghhhH!

And did I mention that I'm feeling a bit stressed about money? My "flush-ness" with money is eroding as the temporary job fades further and further into the past. I've paid my taxes, just paid two medical bills this morning (each in the $90 range) and have an unemployment check coming in the next couple of days. But I hate to see my checking account doing nothing but going down, down, down. You know, sometimes I think money (or the lack of it) just sucks. I wonder what it was like when people resorted to barter?

Evisceration / Monologue

Dragon Mood? -- wow!

Frederick at Daily Kos has a transcript of Stephen Colbert's brilliant monologue/evisceration at the White House Correspondents Dinner. An excerpt:

Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

So, Mr. President, please, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass -- it's important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. . .

. . . So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't.

I watched the video in its entirety. So did S. We were both moved by its power and painful "truthiness."

Kudos to Stephen Colbert for his courage to speak the truth.

!TRUMPS!

Dragon Mood? -- this tending-to-be-on-the-couch dragon needs to get out and MOVE!

I get these email newsletters from WebMD. One of their headlines caught my eye:

Exercise Trumps Diet for Weight Loss

Here's the rest of the article:

Active Monkeys Stay Lean, Sedentary Ones Get Fat -- No Matter What They Eat
By Daniel DeNoon
WebMD Medical News Reviewed By Ann Edmundson, MD
on Friday, April 14, 2006

April 14, 2006 -- Active monkeys stay lean, while couch-potato monkeys get fat -- no matter how much they eat.

The findings come from a research team led by Judy Cameron, PhD, senior scientist at Oregon National Primate Research Center and professor of behavioral neuroscience and obstetrics/gynecology at Oregon Health & Science University.

"Far and away the biggest predictor of weight gain was how active the monkeys were -- that overrode how much food they were eating," Cameron tells WebMD.

The study may explain why people who try to lose weight by dieting alone rarely succeed.

"These findings were surprising to us as scientists," Cameron says. "We always assumed food intake was the main control of body weight and that dieting was the best way to control this. From these results, you are forced to think how active you are is more important than how much you eat."

Cameron and colleagues report their findings in the early online edition of the American Journal of Physiology: Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology.

Exercise Trumps Calories

Cameron studied 18 middle-aged, female rhesus monkeys. All of the animals had their ovaries removed to simulate human menopause. Earlier studies show that such monkeys tend to gain weight, as do middle-aged women.

The researchers put the monkeys on a high-fat diet -- that is, the 35%-fat diet of most women in the Western world. They let the animals eat as much or as little as they liked. And they let them exercise in their cages as much or as little as they wanted.

Over a nine-month period, the researchers measured the monkeys' activity level using a measuring device they wore around their necks. They also kept careful track of the animals' weight, food intake, and metabolic rate.

Some animals ate a lot. Some did not. It didn't make any difference in the monkeys' weight.

Some animals were very active. Some weren't. The difference was remarkable: The most active monkeys were eight times more active than the most sedentary monkeys. It made a huge difference in how much the monkeys weighed.

"We suspected if you ate a lot of food you would be more likely to gain weight. But we did not find that," Cameron says. "Some individual monkeys that ate a large amount did gain a lot of weight, but others who ate a lot gained virtually no weight. Very active monkeys did not gain weight over time. Very sedentary monkeys did gain weight, even if they were not eating a lot of food."

In a new study that hasn't been published, Cameron's team put overweight, inactive monkeys on a strict diet. They didn't lose much weight.

"I don't think most people who try to diet will be surprised," Cameron says. "The body immediately tries to compensate for calories you are not taking in by dropping your metabolic rate and lowering your activity level. There was no way to get around the fact that activity matters a great deal. Altogether, our feeling is that activity is very, very important in controlling body weight."

Can Obese Humans Become Active?

A lot of studies show that obese people aren't as active as lean people are. Cameron's study now suggests that it isn't obesity that turns people into couch potatoes -- it's inactivity that makes people obese.

However, it may not be a simple thing for overweight or obese people to become more active. Cameron says it's possible to predict how active monkeys will be when they're only 1 week old.

"Why are some monkeys more active? You would think it was what situation they were living in," Cameron says. "But we looked at monkeys with acres to run around in and many playmates. You would expect them to be very active. And if you move them indoors with fewer playmates, they should not be as active. But that was not true. A sedentary monkey was just as sedentary, and an active monkey was just as active no matter the setting. And we find this remains true over time."

It remains to be seen whether human couch potatoes can switch to an active lifestyle. But Cameron's work may have put one myth to rest: It's not your metabolism.

People who gain or don't gain weight often point to their inherent metabolic rate as the culprit. For monkeys, at least, this isn't so. Monkeys' metabolic rates didn't vary much. And those with the highest metabolic rate were no more likely to gain or lose weight than those with the lowest metabolic rate.