Elders

Dragon Mood? -- aspiring to agile aging!

Our good friends, J & J, invited us over for Saturday evening dinner. Jeanne's dad, Dobie, was visiting. Dobie, believe it or not, is 101 years old. He's in remarkably good health, enjoys visiting with company and sometimes even likes to have a glass of beer with his meal.

Dobie and I visited for awhile after supper. I told him about my being unemployed. That was the cue he needed to begin reminiscing about people losing their jobs back in the 30's after the "crash" of 1929. Dobie would have been in his mid-to-late 20s at that time, by my reckoning.

From there, our conversation segued to banking, Dobie's day job for over 40 years. I asked him about credit unions, but Jeanne, who was cleaning up in the kitchen, stage-whispered, "He's a Republican; he doesn't believe in credit unions," or something to that effect. And sure enough, Dobie didn't really have much to say about credit unions. I didn't realize that I banked at such socialist organizations(!)

I noticed how difficult it is to have a conversation with Dobie. He's quite hard of hearing, making the normal rhythm of conversation difficult. I found myself having to repeat things frequently. Plus, with Dobie's hearing loss, he's also become quite soft-spoken, so that many times I had a hard time hearing him! All in all, hearing loss is extremely isolating, as if old age weren't isolating enough. And, just in the past several years, Dobie has developed quite a stooped-over appearance, with his head perpetually tucked down. Joanne attributed his spine "freezing" in this position due to his frequent sleeping while sitting in a chair.

Reflecting later on our time with Dobie, I realized that S and I have several quite "elder" people in our lives right now. We have Dobie at 101 years of age. We also have Grandma, aka Alice, Steph's 90-year-old grandma, who we see fairly regularly throughout the year. Grandma's hearing is fine, but we notice that she is becoming more and more dependent on others for care. She needs occasional help with shoes or reminders on medications. This last visit, Sally was giving her eyedrops several times a day because Grandma has recently had cataract surgery. She really needs help putting on some support hose to prevent clots(?); S literally had to don rubber gloves in order to have enough "traction" to get the damn hose pulled up on Grandma's calves.

The other elder person in our lives is our neighbor, Bill. S has lived in this house for 13 years, but Bill is someone she has only gotten to know in the past year. Bill is right around 80. He is a Korean War vet, like my dad. Bill has emphysema and can't walk much without beginning to wheeze. What he still does like a champ, though, is mow grass. After learning last spring that S was scheduled to have a hysterectomy, Bill offered to mow our almost-one-acre yard with his riding mower. S gratefully accepted. He not only mows the grass but catches all the clippings and has even put down fertilizer and weedkiller. S refers lovingly to him as our 80-year-old lawn boy. Bill and S enjoy drinking a beer together, talking about trees and plants and other neighbors. Sometimes I join their visiting. Many times, I leave them alone to enjoy each other's company.

But I do think it's somewhat unusual to have at least three people, 80 and older who we see and interact with on a regular basis. I wonder if other aging boomers are experiencing the same?

And it gives me a window-peek into the future, when I become one of the elderly old, past the "young" 60-year age, through the "middle" 70s and into the four-score-plus group. Imagine that!