One more post for today ...

Dragon Mood? -- dragons LOVE Blue Moons!

One more noteworthy item for today: Today is a blue moon. The moon was full earlier this month on May 2nd and it will be full today, May 31st as well. Happy Blue Moon, everybody!

Setting sail -- from Astrodienst

Dragon Mood? -- wondering if I need a life preserver?

From my absolutely most favorite astrology site, Astrodienst comes this longer-range forecast for me:

Setting sail
Valid during many months: This influence represents a point when you look back over what you have accomplished in life. You try to evaluate and understand exactly what you have learned and what it means for you personally. It is no longer enough to have the approval of others; you need the approval of yourself as well.

If your life does not stand up to your analysis, you may decide to make certain changes. You may choose a very early retirement from your profession so that you can go off in a completely new direction, one that will give you more personal satisfaction. You will be interested in new ways of dealing with your life that help you succeed purely in your own terms.

No matter what you are doing now and after this time, allow yourself these experiences so you can learn what you need to make your life really fulfilling. In a few years from now, you may have to make much more radical changes then in order to improve your life, if you can make them at all.

Transit selected for today (by user):
Uranus Trine Uranus,
activity period from beginning of April 2007
until beginning of March 2008.

Job hunting update

Dragon Mood? -- a little bit disappointed

I had another job interview yesterday ... and I think it simply was NOT a good fit. The job entailed heavy, heavy use of geometric dimensioning and tolerancing, more commonly known as GD & T. While I have some experience with it, I am by no means an experienced user of it nor an expert. I don't anticipate hearing from those folks again. Darn!

Shiny-new browser

Dragon Mood? -- draggin' dragon but geekily happy

After a totally unrestful sleep last night, I decided to dive in and download the new version of Mozilla's Firefox 2.0.0.4 this morning.

I've had some experiences in the past downloading other software apps that were total nightmares. TOTAL NIGHTMARES! Nightmares like being on the phone with a tech support person in New Delhi, I-N-D-I-A for over FIVE HOURS!



Firefox being part of Mozilla, I should have known better. The download AND installation of the shiny-new browser took less than two minutes! Yep, you read that right, LESS THAN TWO MINUTES! I started at 8:06 this morning and before the digital clock read 8:08, I was up and running! Wow! Knock me over with a feather!

I also dove in and installed several Firefox extensions ... something I've never done before. Here's what I installed:

• Colorful Tabs
  
  
• All-in-One Sidebar
  
  
• ColorZilla
  
  
• Better Gmail by Gina Trapani of Lifehacker

So far, after three-plus hours, I'm more than satisfied. I'll keep you posted!

700th POST!

Dragon Mood? -- elated!

Today is Thursday, May 31st, 2007 and this post is notable because it's my 700th one! My first post was published on Friday, February 27th, 2004. Three years plus and 699 posts later, here I am! How 'bout that?

When I first started this blog, I was responding to my daughter, Lina, starting her blog. Blogging was new (to me!) and since I enjoy computer technology AND writing, it seemed like a perfect outlet for me. Now, I have four active blogs (seen above, under the calypsodragon13 header banner) and six or seven mostly inactive ones. Sheesh! I wonder if there are intervention groups for addicted bloggers?

In the Roman Republic ...

Dragon Mood? -- appreciating the connection

You would think that being unemployed, I'd have loads and loads of time on my hands to keep up with all things cyber- and internetty and webbish. Wrong! I was going through hundreds of accumulated postings from my Bloglines account and this one jumped out at me (plus, I LOVE Roman history -- so noble and yet so degenerate). From Josh Marshall's TPM.

In the Roman Republic, particularly in its last century or so, as the system slid out of control, there was a key interplay between absolute power and legal vulnerability at the center of the political system. A consul had near limitless powers during their one year in office. But if they offended too many people during their term, they could be prosecuted for their acts once they left office.

So as they readied to leave office, consuls would try secure positions or dispensations that would protect them from their enemies.

Our system is different of course. But not altogether so. So as these various investigations move forward -- how are Al Gonzales and Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld and a lot of other people ... what arrangements are they making for their safety and immunity after January 2009? Immunity from prosecution in the US? Abroad? We should pay close attention to the details of legislation the White House puts forward over the next eighteen months. You may not be thinking about this issue. But they are.

Why we're so awesome

Dragon Mood? -- pleased as punch!

As my nephew, Luke, put it so succinctly, here's a nice article on why we're SO AWESOME. I couldn't help it, I've reproduced the whole damn thing. Oh yeah, this is Andy Katz from ESPN.

It's finally time to acknowledge something: Michigan State -- yes, Michigan State -- has arguably been college basketball's top program over the past 10 years.

There, it's been said. Now let the e-mails and message boards outside of East Lansing implode.

But if you disagree, you had better bring a lot of ammunition, because the Spartans have plenty on their side. Yes, we know. It's not what mainstream America is used to hearing, but it's the truth.

Tom Izzo was the handpicked successor of Jud Heathcote, and all Izzo has done is make the Spartans one of the most consistent programs in the country. Over the past 10 seasons, Michigan State has the most Final Four appearances of any school in the nation (four) and also has a fifth Elite Eight appearance in that span.

The Spartans have a national title, four conference championships and two conference tournament titles to go with 10 straight NCAA Tournament appearances (the fifth-longest streak in the nation).

Want more? Michigan State has had NBA draft picks (10 since 2000) and graduates (29 out of the 35 players who completed their four years on campus earned a degree). The Spartans have excelled on their home court, posting a 141-13 record (72-8 Big Ten) and selling out the 14,759-seat Breslin Center for 145 consecutive games. They also have an elite practice facility in the Berkowitz Basketball Complex, and are consistently good in recruiting, bringing in eight McDonald's All-Americans and five players who were named Mr. Basketball in Michigan.

Here are four more of my favorite stats:
• Over the past 10 years, Michigan State played 32 ranked nonconference opponents in the regular season, including 20 in the top 10. MSU also played Kentucky twice during that period when the Wildcats were unranked.

• Izzo has had to deal with quite a bit of staff turnover, with six assistants leaving for head coaching jobs in the past 10 years.

• Few schools have as much of a defined basketball identity as Michigan State, which led the Big Ten in rebounding eight of the past 10 years and was ranked in the top 10 nationally six times.

• Every four-year player recruited by Izzo in the past 10 years has played in at least one Final Four.

That last one may be the one that pushes the Spartans over the top. Think about that: Izzo can legitimately claim that if a player stays for all four years, he's got a real shot at being in a Final Four.

Oh, and if we want to really rub it in the rest of the Big Ten, every team in the league has had a coaching change during Izzo's 12-year tenure, with seven of the 10 schools having three coaches during his run. Izzo once considered leaving East Lansing -- for the chance to coach the Atlanta Hawks -- but he stayed.

What does Izzo have to say about all this?

"Someone has to bring all of this up since I never look at it, but when I see it on paper, I say, 'Damn, that's pretty good,'" Izzo said. "We've lost two freshmen, two sophomores and a junior [early to the NBA draft] and we're not the type of school that can recruit easily. We're not Duke or North Carolina. I feel privileged that we're in that spot, but we've earned it."

The 2005 Final Four run may have been the most significant. Reaching St. Louis after three straight Final Fours from 1999 through 2001 was the most telling sign that Izzo had built a power program, not just a great team that had a nucleus to sustain those three previous Final Four squads.

"That was the biggest one," Izzo said. "We didn't drop off."

Izzo points to all the defections, from Jason Richardson to Zach Randolph to those that shouldn't have left early like Marcus Taylor and Erazem Lorbek, to illustrate the number of hits the Spartans have had to withstand.

In 2003-04, he put together a brutal nonconference schedule -- including Kansas, Duke, Oklahoma, Kentucky, UCLA and Syracuse -- that resulted in a 5-6 start. MSU didn't fall flat, though, rallying to make the NCAA Tournament at 18-11 before losing to Nevada in the first round.

The next season, the Spartans were back in the Final Four after knocking off Duke and Kentucky in consecutive games in the Austin Regional, only to lose to eventual champ North Carolina in the national semifinal.

It would be easy to anoint Duke as the top program over the past 10 years, but Michigan State's nonconference schedule, its ability to withstand losing assistants, the Final Fours (one more than Duke) and the facilities give the Spartans the nod, in one writer's opinion.

Arizona has been a model of consistency, but doesn't have the number of Final Fours to show for it (even though it can match MSU with its tough schedules). Kentucky, North Carolina, Connecticut, Maryland and Syracuse all have had a dip; all except Kentucky have missed the NCAA Tournament at least once during the past 10 years.

Florida's run has been extremely impressive. The Gators do have three Final Fours and two national titles, but they also had some early exits and weren't the dominant team in the SEC (Kentucky was) early on under Billy Donovan. The nonconference schedule and staff changes still would favor MSU.

Kansas has its points, too, weathering a head coaching change, overall staff changes and NBA draft defections to consistently make the NCAA Tournament and make deep runs. The Jayhawks, though, don't have as many Final Four appearances, a title or comparable facilities.

That leaves the Spartans, who just keep plugging along.

"We've [even] lost video guys to the NBA," Izzo said. "It's hard on me to keep the continuity. I was talking to Drew Neitzel about this and he was recruited by Mike Garland and Brian Gregory, and then Doug Wojcik had him for a year, Jim Boylen had him for two years, and now he'll have Garland back again [who replaced Boylen] on the staff. It's hard on the player and the coach to survive all of that.

"That's what I consider us, I consider us survivors."

If you think for a second that anything in East Lansing will start faltering, think again. Just look at what Michigan State has going for itself in 2007-08 and beyond:

• The Spartans were 23-12 last season against the nation's ninth-best schedule and return 97.8 percent of their scoring, 97.5 percent of their rebounding, 97.1 percent of their assists and 96.8 percent of their players' minutes from last season.

• Neitzel, likely the preseason Big Ten Player of the Year and a possible national player of the year candidate, returns along with Travis Walton and Raymar Morgan as the core of the team. There also is a top-five recruiting class with guards Chris Allen, Kalin Lucas and Durrell Summers, and 7-foot center Tom Herzog is ready to play after redshirting.

• The Spartans were sixth nationally in scoring defense and field-goal percentage defense, and eighth in rebounding margin.

• The Spartans recently received an oral commitment from top-five player Delvon Roe, who graduates from high school in 2008.

"I'm as excited about the future as I have been in a while," Izzo said. "We've got the balance back in our classes. We've got all the pieces. I think we can get back [to the Final Four] again.

"It's funny, programs have been recruiting against me, saying that I'd be gone, gone to the NBA, and I've had my chances but I'm still here and a number of the coaches who were saying that are gone. It was an interesting thing [with the Hawks], but I have no regrets. We still maintain a tough schedule, we've put guys in the pros, we're graduating players at a humongous number, we've got the guys that weren't as highly recruited like Neitzel and [former MSU player Maurice] Ager. We've done it with different kinds of kids. Our crowds are great.

"Getting to the NCAA Tournament [this past season] was huge for us. That was our 10th year in a row. We've had the Final Fours, the championship, but there were a couple of years in a row that we didn't do as well, maybe because of injuries. But we still got in. We withstood some things. And despite not having the rep, we were able to reload."

Let the debate rage, but it might be hard to unseat Michigan State as the top program of the past 10 years.

Senior writer Andy Katz covers college basketball for ESPN.com.

Weekend warrior

Dragon Mood? -- moving a tad slowly and grimacing

Doing this weekend warrior thing is tough on the body! It's another Monday, I'm still unemployed and ... and I'm feeling S-O-R-E!

AFTER two weekends upnorth, building the aforementioned handicap ramp for Grandma, our home in the pine trees was in sore (ha-ha, get it?) need of some attention.

S completely busted a*s, mowing our almost-an-acre yard, weed-whacking, spraying our several birch clumps to prevent bugs, pulling weeds, removing some plants that have become pesky -- overgrowing their allotted space -- along with other various and sundry tasks.

I splurged, spent our grocery money and bought flowers (hurray! - flowers are not a luxury item in this household) and planted cheerful red salvia in our concrete containers at the front of the house.

In the camper, I vacuumed all the little mouse poop left by the little buggers over the winter, cleaned and sanitized all the horizontal surfaces along with some of the walls, sprayed Lysol on all the mildew spots on the camper canvas along with removing and washing all the camper curtains. For being nine years old, the camper curtains were in amazingly pristine condition -- they just needed the mothball smell to be washed out of them.

I also washed 4 or 5 rag rugs, along with several loads of clothing.

I brushed the dog vigorously (as she's blowing out her winter coat) and trimmed her Cruella DeVille-like nails. Then she got a bath. As she's getting older, I think she's enjoying those warm, scrub-a-dub-dub things all the more!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I walked with our friend, Joanne, yesterday at a nearby nature center for about an hour, while the dogs forged ahead, hunting, sniffing, lapping up nasty standing water, mock-growling at one another to see who's the real alpha dog and just happy to be there. Cisco's tail was wagging non-stop. Joanne and I both commented what a pleasure it is to witness such canine joy.

Two other notables for this weekend. S and I both got our hair cut on Saturday. After 14 weeks with no haircut, believe me, I was ready! In another attempt to save money, I had my hair cut by a less-experienced hair stylist named Mandy. While it doesn't have quite the "style" that Robin imparts, she gave me a very functional summer haircut. S got a darling bob, kind of a 21st-century version of a Buster Brown-do. It's longer underneath, shorter on the top and frames her face nicely. I like it.

Evolution of the web

Dragon Mood? -- dragons LOVE sparkly, techy things!

Want to see a cool video showcasing the evolution of the Web in just 5 minutes? Go here.

Winding down from a busy, busy week

Dragon Mood? -- fatigued and energized at the same time?

For a rather cold, rainy week (which in my mind equates to long, drugged-like naps), it's been a busy week for me. S and I started out the week so incredibly tired from our second jaunt up north in two weeks, I think we rolled through Monday and Tuesday in a veritable fog.

Tuesday afternoon, I met with the facilitator at the career center where I've been volunteering. I handed off a PowerPoint presentation that I went through, reformatted and cleaned up a bit that she uses every week. Heather is always very effusive in her thanks and this time was no exception.

Wednesday morning I met with a recruiter new to me, an MSU grad (which made me feel more "open" to him from the get-go), who was a particularly good listener and helped me to feel okay about all my worries and misgivings. He didn't make extravagant promises, but left me with a feeling that he could be a strong advocate for me. All good stuff!

I forgot that Tuesday evening I also went to a volunteer orientation for a LGBT center that recently opened near us. I was tired (surprise) and had actually considered bombing out on the orientation meeting. I'm glad I didn't. The meeting was chaired by a young, energetic gay man named Brandon who was light and funny and informative, all at the same time. He made me feel most welcome and I felt "noticed" and appreciated. Isn't it funny the things that you crave when you're unemployed?

This week I also sent out resumes or received calls on at least two promising-looking jobs. One is with a former Big Three employer of mine. I'm keeping myself very much in a self-protective mode and doing lots of emotional "checks" as to how I'm feeling about that. Time will tell. I also got a quick response from a recruiter for another older manufacturing biggie here in Motown, looking for designers. I had to fill out a rather lengthy pre-interview questionnaire. Again, time will tell whether they're interested in me or not.

I spent the better part of an afternoon, working on some graphic stuff for my niece and nephews for a something-something that's in the works right now. Cryptic, I know, but necessary ... at least for now.

I finally, finally, FINALLY sent off a package containing a neti pot for my elderly uncle down in Port Arthur, Texas. Can you believe that blankety-blank thing's been sitting on our dining room table for over eight frickin' weeks? ArrrghhH! I don't know what has been going on with me, but I simply could not -- repeat, COULD NOT -- bring myself to tape that thing up and mail it. This week, all of the sudden, I could. And, I DID!

I also mailed off to all three of my father's siblings a lengthy recap of notes I took five-and-a-half years ago (yes, I know -- isn't that pathetic?) regarding family history and asked them to read it, review it and make the necessary changes and/or additions. After languishing such a long time on my computer, mailing those "stories" really feels good!

I've paid bills, transferred funds (robbing Peter to pay Paul, you know?) faxed job-related documents to the appropriate people, gone through some old mail, cleaned out some cluttery piles of paper (Yay!), recycled things that needed recycling ... why, I even went to the hardware store and replaced our just-burned out fluorescent bulb under the kitchen cabinets. Wow!, can you believe I've got that done already? I hardly can!

I've swapped the cars around, filled the little trash-mobile's gas tank so S and I can drive it back to the pinetree house, ride-sharing and saving gas. We're ALL about saving money on gas these days!

Whew! It's been a busy, busy week!

Flattered

Today, I got an interesting email. It was from someone in the flickr community adding me as a contact. That occasionally happens, so I didn't think TOO much of it, until I went to the person's website. Something there looked familiar. What is it? Oh my gosh! She used one of my mandala creations as a backdrop for her blog header. What do you make of that?


Here's her blog link.

And here's my creation...that she used.

Congratulations to mijita!

The front of the house
Originally uploaded by Wild Wend.

Congratulations to my daughter, Lina, on the purchase of her FIRST home! I couldn't be happier for you, sweetie!

The humdinger weekend that it was!

Dragon Mood? -- still sore and fatigued

HUMDINGER is the word I would use to describe this past weekend. A humdinger, for sure!

S and I rolled outta Motown Friday afternoon amid all the rest of the commuters. Thankfully, we were both in a good mood, looking forward to the weekend, so the heavy traffic was a non-issue.

Even before thinking about getting on the road for "upnorth," we mailed customized Mother's Day cards to Lindsey and Sarah, bought potted flowers for Sally and Grandma, stopped off at our "piney" home, showered, repacked bags, switched vehicles, drove back into town, bought lumber and electrical supplies at the nearby Home Depot, did our late-night banking, bought burgers for the road, a five-shot latte (for S, of course) for the road, and finally, finally hit the road! At 10:40 p.m. (laughing) Are we crazy or what?

Saturday morning work began around 10. Like the troopers that they are, S's sister, Michelle, and her husband, Jim, showed up bright and early, coffee mugs in hand, ready to work.

S and I finished up some minor framing on the handicap ramp, while Michelle and Jim began carving out the shape of a concrete pad for the handicap ramp to land ON. Sally got on the phone and had forty (40) 80-lb bags of cement delivered to the house within about an hour of her call. Jim and I went and picked up an electric cement mixer and the cement pouring commenced around 3:30 p.m.

We broke at 9:30 for a fabulous, fashionably-late dinner prepared by Sally. We ate like the ravenous and tired workers that we were. We hung out until after 11:30, waiting for the cement to set up enough for it to be troweled. Jim used a kitchen broom to supply the finishing touches to the finish, making it safe and elder-friendly.

Sunday morning was another absolutely perfect day, clear, cloudless and sunny. We all marveled at how gorgeous the concrete pad turned out -- wow, did we do that?

Around 2 p.m., S's older sister, Becky and her daughter, Lydia arrived from down-state. We all visited and caught up on news with one another. Sally and Grandma opened up Mother's Day gifts from Becky and Lydia. The four of us returned to work.

Jim and Michelle set a few more 4x4 posts for elder-friendly transitioning down the existing steps, while S and I began work in earnest on the decking. Then, eventually, it was all four of us working on decking. We finished the 6'x 10' deck first, then the intermediate 6' ramp up to the 5'x 5' platform which then transitions to the 8' ramp up to the existing porch.

That last ramp was nothing but a headache all the way around. (In light of people's heightened awareness of language usage, post-Don Imus, I'll avoid using the five-letter female dog term I was first inclined to use describing that ramp.) There were problems too numerous to recount, but it was late in the day, we were four 40-to-50 year olds, tired, sore, achey, busting a*s trying to get it done.

We finished up around 8:30. I was so sore I was groaning with every move I made. (I'm a BIG baby that way.) S packed up her tools, Jim and Michelle and S tidied up the entire construction site, while I went in the house, deflated our new Aerobed mattress (what a nice thing!), gathered up our stuff, made a pot of coffee and WASHED MY FACE! Geez, did I feel grody!

I think we got on the road back to the piney house just a little before 10. Rather than making another leg of the trip back down here to the pied-a-terre, we dropped our bags, took hot showers, each took two EXTRA STRENGTH Bayer aspirin and fell into bed. You think I'm speaking in metaphors? NO! We fell into bed. It was 1 a.m.

Then, we were back up and at 'em by 6 a.m., switched vehicles, loaded our bags and the dog and headed here for S to get to work. Sheesh! I can feel tired just recounting it all!

Do you think we had a humdinger for a weekend?

Delight me!

Dragon Mood? -- smiling

How bad IS it when you expose yourself in a lie of your own creation? Hmm ... probably just as bad as any lie, huh? Does fatigue-stupidity count as a justifiable excuse?

I haven't gone to bed YET and the sky is starting to get PINK! Plus, how could I pass up the opportunity to do one of these click-on-the-thumbnail things?

Click on the thumbnail to see what I created at French Toast Girl.

Cute, huh?

Quote for Friday

Dragon Mood? -- mindfulness along with my mind is absent

Okay ... I'm gonna post just this one more thing ... AND THEN I'm going to bed! Here's a quote I found and liked:

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Insomnia ... again

Dragon Mood? -- tired and cranky

Damn, I hate insomnia. It's now 5 a.m. I've been awake since 2. I know I'm gonna feel like sh*t tomorrow, uh, make that 3 hours from now. Why am I awake?

I have this bad habit of cracking my toes in my sleep. My partner has a bad habit of yelling in her sleep to "STOP that!" While it's not pretty -- either of our habits -- still, I don't do well being awakened by someone yelling at me!

All I have to say at this point is Grrr.

Joy that is so real it hurts

Dragon Mood? -- proud of my "Mother" dragon status

Mother's Day is just around the corner. Every year, at this time, I'm always amazed at the curious ways that people choose to honor their mothers. I mean really! Does a television commercial featuring a singing greeting card convey my feelings? How about over-priced bouquets of flowers? Or taking Mom, carefully coiffed, suited and powdered, out to a big fancy Sunday meal do it?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a mom and I like it when my kids recognize me on Mother's Day.   I do!   I may not be anticipating a big ticket item like a diamond pendant necklace, but I dropped a totally blatant hint for a renewal on my pro flickr account to my daughter several weeks ago.

Tomorrow evening, S and I will make the trip up north to work for another weekend on Grandma's handicap ramp. We'll probably take one or two hanging baskets of flowers and find a way to hang them from one of the brand-new posts of the brand-new ramp. We'll probably recognize Mother's Day on Sunday in some non-lavish, non-traditional way. Why? Because Sally is S's mother and Grandma is her grandmother. They are probably the two most important people in S's extended family. They are her history. They are her blood. And, whatever else you may say about them, they deserve to be recognized! And so we will!

Ordinarily, I hate the schmaltzy, sentimental claptrap that gets bounced around the cyberworld in emails around Mother's Day. I have several friends and acquaintances who routinely and predictably send me these sorts of things. Out of respect for them and our friendships, I usually read them and then quite automatically delete them. The following is one of these types of emails ... or so I thought. I read it and didn't reach for the "Delete" button. Maybe it's schmaltzy, maybe it's claptrap ... but I thought it captured well many, many of the feelings I've felt in my years as a mom:

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very
unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.

the sounds of grass growing

Dragon Mood? -- lazy with sounds of rain and thoughts of red wine

Ever wonder what the sounds of grass growing are? For your reading pleasure, I reproduce a segment of a chat that mijita, Caroline, and I had this afternoon, late in the day.

me: (laughing) Well, go enjoy your walk. It's completely dark, overcast and we've been having bouts of thunder and then heavy rain. I'm staying in and cracking open a bottle of Crane Lake!
Caroline: It doesn't sound too gorgeous where YOU are!
me: :-D
Caroline: Hopefully it's heading your way.
me: Nope, not at all. But you can HEAR the grass growing ... with all this rain!
Caroline: A bottle of wine sounds good. Mayhaps I'll open one of those tonight, too.
me: There you go!
Caroline: I always thought hearing the grass growing would sound like very low cello notes...long bow strokes...pianissimo...
me: I'll go with that description .... sounds lovely.

New banner

Dragon Mood? -- pleased for a first try

Among its many resources for awesome web design and amazing CSS, Mandarin Design has a link to a cool banner creator called TypoGenerator. I tried it out and of course, had to create umpteen versions of calypsoDragon13.

Some of the best:












And finally, here's one that I created for myself in Photoshop. It's not great ... it's okay for a first try. I'll give myself a day or two, look at it again and refine.

Refine, refine, refine.


[Update] And another refinement:

Monday night recap

Dragon Mood? -- still catching up

Wow, where has the time gone? Four days have slipped away like sand between my fingers!

S and I headed up north Friday to begin work on a handicap ramp (photos yet to come!) for 91-year old Grandma ... when my cell phone rang with a recruiter on the other end. A job that they had contacted me about days earlier -- suddenly the manager wanted to have a phone interview that afternoon? I explained that I was traveling up north and could we do it Monday?

The interview happened this morning. It went well for me, not so well for the manager. He called an hour and fifteen minutes late, sounded embarassed and eased into the interview asking me about my mentioning on my resume that I play classical piano. I chuckled and responded with what I thought was appropriate.

We conversed for 20 minutes. The upshot is that I'm making the 100-mile journey tomorrow morning for an interview. (sigh)   Yes, another interview. (sigh) Yes, 200 miles and gas at $3-and-what a gallon? Just what an unemployed AND broke person like me needs, huh? Smack me upside the head, but I'm having trouble getting excited that anything real or tangible will come from this. Yup, I know ... smack me!

The good news is that our weekend up north was SO much more productive than S and I ever allowed ourselves to dream. S's sister, Michelle and her husband, Jim, came over Saturday and worked like troopers with us. Then, they came back Sunday and did it again! We got all the posts laid out, cemented and secured in the ground, as well as framing members laid out and secured. Other than three "fake" posts that need to be lagged into underlying joists, we're ready to begin laying the decking.

S and Jim determined that a small concrete pad also needs to be poured at the base of the handicap ramp. Jim has some experience with concrete so that will be his project, with us helping. S predicted that we'll lay out the forms for the concrete this coming weekend, as well.

Jeez, do you have ANY idea how nice it feels to have things go well and BETTER than planned for a change? Any idea?

The contrast between how my life has been going (or FEELS like it's been going) and how this past weekend went is a picture-window view into the increasingly worn-down, ground-down and embittered feelings I'm carrying around inside of me, like 100-lb bags full of calcified, pointy-sharp feelings. YeecchhH!

I need to spend some time tomorrow, as I'm driving through the southern Michigan countryside, contemplating that ... and figuring out what I can do to heave those bitter-heavy feelings out the window. Yes, I do!

Never dream on a Thursday afternoon!

Dragon Mood? -- shaking out the cobwebs

Cisco and I took an enjoyable walk this afternoon. The weather is beautiful, the temperature outside perfect. We walked for about 40 minutes and arrived back at the pied-a-terre, both of us panting a bit from exertion and ready for something cool to drink.

I took off my walking shoes, poured myself some lukecool rooibos herbal tea and sat down in a comfy chair to work on a sudoku puzzle. Before I knew it, I had dozed off, puzzle and pencil in hand.

I dreamt that I was driving in a tunnel from Detroit to Windsor. The tunnel felt more like driving through a series of concrete rooms and involved lots of sharp turns. I drove anxiously, carefully avoiding the vehicle-unfriendly concrete corners. I was doing okay, until a last turn when I heard the scrape of metal and saw something fly off of my car.

"Ohhh, NO!" I groaned to myself. The concrete tunnel morphed into a concrete room, a room that resembled a tall, deep castle dungeon. I knew it was an office. My supervisor from my last temporary job, a guy named Adam, was there. He was asking me a question. But suddenly, there was a police officer wanting to take a report on my hitting my car in the tunnel.

"Officer, it was a mistake," I offered, "and it was just a tiny little scrape."

"It doesn't matter," he officiously replied, "the penalty is eight million dollars and you'll just have to pay it."

"EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS!" I exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Adam is repeatedly asking for for this notebook filled with papers.

"See these cards?" he asked. They were a stack of the postcards that fill magazines, hectoring readers to mail them in and subscribe to the magazine.

"Did you see any of these cards in that notebook?" he asked again. "Did you take any of them out?"

"Yes," I replied, "well, yes, I took them out and threw them away. They're junk mail. I didn't know they meant anything or that you wanted them in there."

Adam then goes off on a tirade. The policeman reminds me that I will have to pay that eight million dollar ticket ... Adam is yelling at me "How could you throw my cards away?" ... I'm feeling sick with anxiety and fear ... and I woke up. I woke up so groggy with sleep that it took me seconds and seconds and more seconds to realize, to thankfully realize that I didn't owe anybody eight million dollars and that I hadn't screwed up Adam's screwed-up filing system. What a relief! What a bothersome dream! And I was so thankful it was just a bothersome dream!

May Day

Dragon Mood? -- awake or dreaming?

Why is it ... some weeks I can't wait to post my thoughts to calypso ... while other weeks, like this one, I feel strangely quiet?

Tuesday was May Day, a day I always feel drawn to. It has some long-ago associations for me of 2nd grade, making brightly-colored construction paper tulips and being one of the children to wrap crepe paper around a tall May pole. Did that really happen or did I just dream it?