post-bachelorette party

Dragon Mood? -- chuckling with amazement

Last night, I went to my first, my very first bachelorette party. What an experience! I told Yosh this morning on the phone, now I know what it feels like to be an anthropologist in some far-off place like Papua New Guinea, observing some exotic tribal rituals!

S and I got to Jody's house, the maid of honor, late. There were at least 20 or 25 women there, a much larger group than I was anticipating. Sarah, the bride, was opening "dirty" gifts, things like edible underwear, penis shot glasses and penis lollipops. By the time she was finished, Sarah was wearing a white fur-trimmed tiara with flashing lights, some other flashing-light thing around her neck along with several shot glasses on strings, a black feather boa and a bumper sticker saying something about cowboys and cute asses. Oh yes, and she had a hairband thing with two little red glittery penises swinging about on top of her head. Funny and amazing!

As all these women piled into a Big Daddy taxi van, S and I followed in our car and we headed to a country-western place called Cactus Juice. There were all of ten people in the joint when we walked in. But I was amazed to watch the cowboy bouncers and cowboy staff as they watched all these young, nubile women enter. I told Yosh it was like watching bees around a bunch of new flowers. They practically began buzzing with energy. (laughing) Sorry, that didn't sound very anthropologist-like, did it? The men staffers at this bar definitely took notice and an interest in all the young women.

The dance music was a little on the lame side, although S and I did dance to one Elvis song and another one where we tried to do the two-step. Jody and one other girl rode the mechanical bull which elicited everyone's interest. Sarah's mom bought two rounds of apple Pucker shots, which thankfully S and I bypassed. I stuck to Mich Ultra and S drank Coronas with limes.

Then we headed to a place near campus called the Silver Dollar. Any student who's ever attended MSU will know that name. As dead as the other place was, that's how jumpin' the Dollar was. It was crowded and got more crowded as the night went on. The band was awful. In a word, everyone said, "This band sucks!" When the band finished their set, that was when the real dancing began!

S and I danced, all the young women danced, everybody danced. There was dirty-dancing with lots of hip grinding, arm waving, butt thrusting and what I would call mild groping. Men who were strangers came up to women and began dancing, not face-to-face but behind them. S actually rescued Sarah's aunt who got groped by some young stranger.

One of the most memorable dances was towards the end of our evening. I had gone outside with one young woman, Carrie, who is about six or seven months pregnant and needed some air. So did I. I needed air and a reprieve from the loudness of the music. When we reentered, my mission was to grab S, say our goodbyes and leave. Instead, the dance floor was packed and everyone was singing along to some song that ended the chorus with "Pussy Control." And everyone dancing seemed to know the words, "pussy control."

Amazingly, I woke up with that music and those words in my head this morning: "pussy control." I since looked it up online and found it's a song by TAFKA (the artist formerly known as) Prince. Here's an excerpt from here:

... Now say it, Pussy Control (Are U ready?)

Aaah, Pussy Control, oh
Aaah, Pussy Control, oh

And the moral of this motherf---er is
Ladies, make'em act like they know
U are, was, and always will be Pussy Control (Are U ready?)
Peace and be wild (Aaah, Pussy Control)

Say what, huh? (Oh)
Oh no, don't U think about callin' her a ho (Are U ready?)
U juvenile delinquent
Best sit your ass down
Talkin' about Pussy Control
Huh, can U dig it?

Aaah, Pussy Control (Are U ready?)
Oh (Are U ready?)

Aaah, Pussy Control (Are U ready?)
Oh (Are U ready?)

So, I'm no longer a bachelorette-party virgin and I can say I had a damn good time. Better than I ever anticipated!