The emotional reverberations

Dragon Mood? -- a bit bewildered

In a previous post, I alluded to "swinging" emotions.

From the giddiness of my initial reaction, I retreated into this almost turtle-like shell of feeling almost nothing. I kept telling people that I am slow to react to events, but even I was amazed at how it didn't feel real, it didn't feel like something that was happening to me and I wondered how long it would take to feel something.

Tuesday, after our whirlwind weekend of constant socializing, I was simply tired. Both physically, mentally and emotionally. I just wanted to sleep. The warm, humid temperatures of June only added to my desire to cocoon and sleep.

The past three days, that has abated somewhat, only to be replaced with this anxiety about my first day on the job, next Monday. Understandable, right?

But, I've also been experiencing sadness, a sense of loss of freedom, almost a grief at the prospect of being "back in the harness," losing my ability to do what I want when I want ... now that I have a job. Imagine going from high anxiety about the lack of a job, the inability to get a job, and the incumbent financial worries that go along with that -- not to mention the loss of health care insurance -- now to feeling sadness and grief that I'm hooked, I'm harnessed, I'm trapped back in the worker bee mode. Waaahh! I've lost freedom that I may never have again!

Is this normal? ... even close to normal? Or am I simply crazy?