(hum a bluesy tune)... "I got the Monday mornin' blues ..."
... that reared their mournful faces on Sunday, the blues that hunkered down with the gray skies on Saturday, even Friday and if truth be told, the ones, the very same ones that lurked in the shadows even on Turkey-lurkey Thursday.
I've been feeling blue since Thursday! Dammit!
I missed my kids, I missed being with my sister and her kids, I missed being with my family, with my people. I was with S's family, her kids, her family and that was good, that was fine. But it wasn't the same. And I missed being with people who make me feel special.
Pat, our therapist, for years and years -- his voice is now embedded in my head -- he's asking me what I've been doing to take care of me? Because, you see, when I don't do a good job of taking care of me, I start nit-picking at S, criticizing her, judging her in my all-too-familiar-critical-father voice, "She's not doing that right!" and generally trying to make her miserable enough to match my misery.
Dammit! That's not good!
So .... my goal, no, my MISSION ... is to take very good care of myself this week, EXTRA GOOD CARE of myself this week so that I can push, push, PUSH these inky staining clouds of blueness and sadness and depression right out of my skies. My skies want to be filled with deep, warm sunshine and periwinkle-blue clearness and white puffy clouds that shift and make shapes and swooping bluebirds singing their happy-bluebirdy songs.
That's my mission!
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