Day after the Debacle

Dragon Mood? -- I'm so exhausted from the past 24 hours, even my Energizer bunny has died.

I usually try to refrain from out-and-out sarcasm, because in my personal experience, sarcasm can be quite hurtful. But I'm so angry about this election, that I am "giving in" to my baser instincts.

Welcome to four more years...

• Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
• Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Daddy Bush made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
• Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
• A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humanity without regulation.
• The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
• If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
• A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
• Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing healthcare to all Americans is socialism.
• HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
• Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
• A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
• Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
• The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades butGeorge Bush's driving record is none of our business.
• You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
• What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s (i.e., smoke pot) is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s (snort coke and abuse alcohol) is irrelevant.
• We must protect fetal and embryonic life. After all, we need those babies to become adults so we can send them off to war or execute them in prison.

Can you tell I'm mad?