Last hurrah of March

Dragon Mood? -- remembering

Scootching towards mid-morning, today is looking to be such a beautiful day, I put on my gym shoes and hit the sidewalks for a walk around the neighborhood.

The sky is the bluest of blues. Trees are still bare so you can see their every branch and bone. A few clumps of leaves hang on, curled and brown, hardy survivors of winter winds. Hard to see but not difficult to hear are all the birds, singing their little birdy hearts out, celebrating the return of sunshine and warmer temperatures. Hearing their songs reminds me of how wonderful it is to be alive. I remind myself, don't take it for granted, Mary. Be grateful and give thanks.

I focus on feeling as much as I can, opening my sensory windows and letting it all flow in. The air is cool, but not cold. My top and sweatshirt are just the right warmth. I focus on tightening my tummy muscles, my core muscles and aligning my spine. I straighten my posture as I walk. Hmm, that actually seems to help.

This all feels so natural, so familiar. I've walked these blocks so many times before. My ever-present companion, Cisco, is the only missing part of this picture. I imagine her out in front of me, going this way, then that, sniffing, pausing to sniff more intently heaven only knows what. In my arm muscles, I actually feel her leash tugging me here, now there. Oh, it's surreal at how very real it feels.

I look at houses as I pass. Usually tidy ones still look tidy in this nether time between winter and spring. Some look a little worse for wear. A house that was foreclosed last fall has new occupants. Their garage door is open and boxes are lined up right to the edge of the opening. Another house, up the street, on the other side, is for sale. I wonder if this is a voluntary, happy-choice sale or a wolves-at-the-door foreclosure sale? I can't help but wonder.

I'm amazed at how quiet and empty the streets are. Is everyone working but me? Are people immune to the beauty of the day, behind doors closed and locked? I wonder.

Then, across the street, I see a man. He's wearing a winter knit hat, a skull cap I think it's called. I glance down, then back at him. He's still watching me. I raise my hand and wave. He waves back. Now I know what it feels like to be on an island, a castaway, feeling too alone. The strange reassurance of seeing another person, though a stranger. What a curious feeling.

I stop and examine some tiny blue flowers sprung up alongside a slab of concrete. They're so dainty and so intensely blue. Are these snowdrops? I don't know if there is such a thing as intensely blue snowdrops. Nevertheless, they are lovely. Their color is such a marked contrast to the brownness and grayness of all the other foliage.

A woman rounds the block corner, coming towards me, walking two dogs. As she approaches, I say hi. She replies and I ask if I may pet her dogs? They are well-mannered dogs, inquisitive and happy to get a head rub. I tell her about Cisco. She offers her sympathy. I wish her a pleasant day and continue walking. I wish I didn't feel so alone and so vulnerable. I have never been in the habit of chatting up strangers before. Why am I doing it now?

I finish my walk, happy that I have stretched my legs, exercised my core muscles, even to the point of preventing a lower backache, the usual outcome of a long walk. I feel a bit winded, which is good. I congratulate myself.

I return to my laptop, ready to begin working on finding jobs and then it hits me. Today is an anniversary. Yup, it sure is. A year ago, about the same time as my mid-morning walk, I got called into a conference room, told that my job was being eliminated, told that it had nothing to do with my performance, but yes, you are being laid off.

I am thankful. I am thankful for today's March 31st compared to last year's March 31st. I am so thankful to be here and not there.

QOTD - March 25, 2010

Dragon Mood? -- inspired

Quote of My Day: "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." ~ Mother Teresa

Straddling Divergent Belief Systems

Dragon Mood? -- intrigued

If you call yourself a Christian, then do you immediately reject the idea of reincarnation? Is it a concept that is so foreign to you as to make it unimaginable? Unbelievable?

This article, written by Robert Lanza, M.D., touches on the tantalizing theories and inevitable tension between quantum physics and our ideas of living and dying. Here's an excerpt:

We think we die and rot into the ground, and thus must squeeze everything in before it's too late. If life -- yours, mine -- is a just a one-time deal, then we're as likely to be screwed as pampered. But experiments suggest this view of the world may be wrong.

The results of quantum physics confirm that observations can't be predicted absolutely. Instead, there's a range of possible observations each with a different probability. One mainstream explanation, the "many-worlds" interpretation, states that there are an infinite number of universes (the "multiverse"). Everything that can possibly happen occurs in some universe. The old mechanical -- "we're just a bunch of atoms" −- view of life loses its grip in these scenarios.

Biocentrism extends this idea, suggesting that life is a flowering and adventure that transcends our ordinary linear way of thinking. Although our individual bodies are destined to self-destruct, the "me'' feeling is just energy operating in the brain. But this energy doesn't go away at death. One of the surest principles of science is that energy never dies; it can neither be created nor destroyed. When we die, we do so not in the random billiard ball matrix but in the inescapable life matrix. Life has a non-linear dimensionality −- it's like a perennial flower that returns to bloom in the multiverse.

A series of landmark experiments show that measurements an observer makes can influence events that have already happened in the past. One experiment (Science 315, 966, 2007) confirmed that flipping a switch could retroactively change a result that had happened before the switch was flipped. Regardless of the choice you, the observer, make, it'll be you who will experience the outcomes −- the universes −- that will result.

I see a chasm between belief systems here, and one that I'm straddling uncomfortably, like a cartoon character with one leg on the dock and the other on a boat pulling away. I believe Jesus will accompany me across the river Jordan to "the other side" while at the same time I believe that my essence, my energy will go on after my death. How can I make sense of it all? Rationalize it and balance it and make some cohesive explanation? Oh dear!

Landmark health care legislation

Dragon Mood? -- yes, thrilled!

THRILLED is the word that best describes my feelings!

President Obama's comments on signing landmark health care legislation, March 24, 2010:

"... Our presence here today is remarkable, and improbable. With all the punditry, all of the lobbying, all of the game-playing that passes for governing in Washington, it's been easy at times to doubt our ability to do such a big thing, such a complicated thing; to wonder if there are limits to what we as a people can still achieve. It']s easy to succumb to the sense of cynicism about what's possible in this country. But today, we are affirming that essential truth, a truth every generation is called to rediscover for itself, that we are not a nation that scales back its aspirations. (Applause.) We are not a nation that falls prey to doubt or mistrust. We don't fall prey to fear. (Applause.) We are not a nation that does what's easy. That's not who we are. That's not how we got here.

We are a nation that faces its challenges and accepts its responsibilities. We are a nation that does what is hard, what is necessary, what is right. Here in this country, we shape our own destiny. That is what we do. That is who we are. That is what makes us the United States of America.

And we have now just enshrined -- as soon as I sign this bill -- the core principle that everybody should have some basic security when it comes to their health care. (Applause.)

And it is an extraordinary achievement that has happened because of all of you, and all the advocates all across the country." [excerpted from the New York Times]

Reason, Season, Lifetime

Dragon Mood? -- a bit worn down

Once upon a time ...

if only this were a fairy tale.

There is a lovely, poignant poem entitled, "Reason, Season, Lifetime." I found many people citing this as 'Author Unknown', but according to available web intelligence, it was written by Aleksandra Lachut. [UPDATE: for now, I'll stick with Author Unknown]

Reason, Season, Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

-- Aleksandra Lachut

As I'm entering my 12th month of unemployment, and S and I look at a variety of less-desirable financial options, I feel philosophical. And this poem speaks to that.